No New is Good News

7 Small Steps Towards My Financial Freedom & a Few Other Things

2012-01-24T20:47:00.000-05:00

Hello there,

I thought I'd catch you up on how things are going re: my 2012 goals. The first of which is connected to my physical fitness, the second of which is related to my financial fitness.

Physical:

I've been attending my bootcamp, but it's been a little bit harder to get there 3 times per week. I guess the combo of January weather, having had a Christmas break from it, and me going out of town all conspired to keep me struggling. I have been to 4 out of a possible 9 classes - 3 in the last week. On the healthy eating front, I've been tracking all the food I eat and I've lost 2.4 lbs. I also did some researching of working for Weight Watchers (when I finally reach my goal weight). If the google search was accurate it won't be any get-rich-quick scheme, BUT, it would be a way to help me stay in a healthy range and make some pin money. I probably have to lose about 20-25 lbs to get to where I want to be in that range. It may take me a while, since I'm not into starving or eating fake foods to do it, but I am consistently moving in the right direction, and have been for a year now.

Since January 1, I've had an old friend die suddenly in his 40's of a massive heart attack, and another very young friend diagnosed with breast cancer. I keep thinking that being healthy just keeps getting more and more crucial as the years tick by.

Oh, I also decided - to help nudge myself in the right direction - that I would forsake the empty calories in that magic elixir, alcohol, until I reach my goal weight. Unseemly, right? Well, besides wanting a gold star for this Hurculean task, I do feel pretty good about how I've managed it. I even had to endure an open bar at the Keg, during the reception of my old friend's funeral, WITH all my drinking buddies from my university bar tending days. Just imagine. I enjoyed this eviscerating event stone cold sober. After this testing by fire, I think I'll be fine.

Financial:

This has been a major focus for me since January 1. I'm actively encouraging myself to become properly obsessed with it. I wrote in my last post, 'Clean Slate' about ultimately wanting to pay off debt and get down to one job. I also wrote about wanting to get really clear about my budget and spending, and to automate as many things as possible. Some things I have done thus far in January:

Read David Chilton's 'The Wealthy Barber Returns'. I'd recommend it, - and his first book 'The Wealthy Barber', though it is old, taught me a lot about basic concepts, like RRSPs etc.
Written down every nickle I've spent this month, including date and what I spent it on. I'm keeping it on a list on a 'note' on my phone. It's important to know what (and where) I'm spending in order to make a realistic and accurate budget and to grasp where I can cut expenses to live the dream of spending less than I make, AKA financial freedom.
Searched out budget spreadsheets and expense tracking spreadsheets. I found one that I prefer, since it has space for idealized budget, actual amount spent annually/monthly/daily, plus tracking monthly expenses and seeing the difference and charts all kinds of things. It is only about $15. I think I will order it and test it out. I'll report back and share the link if it seems as good as it looks.
I've signed up with mint.com - a neat site that shows you all your financial stuff in one place (i.e.: assets, loans, banking) so you can see and track expenses and net worth etc. It is read only, so you can't DO banking on it, but it is nice to be able to see info from a variety of different places together in one spot. They use the same type of security as banks do on their site.
I've begun the book 'Financial Serenity' and am leaving it at work to read on breaks.
I'm listening to Susie Orman's 'The Laws of Money' on CD at work while I do mundane tasks.
I'm carrying around 'To Buy or Not to Buy' by April Lane Benson to read on the transit.

A couple of weekends ago I ended up shopping on a whim. I was on my way for groceries, at a store that was in a mall, and was seduced by the January sales. I ended up getting cute slouchy cowboy boots for $60 from a store that was closing - regular $150! - and bought 4 x $9.99 items at Joe Fresh - marked down 75%! - and couldn't pass by Winners without going in to look at clearance items. I ended up getting a fuschia velvet skirt and a black velvet tank top - for less than $10 each!

The problem isn't so much the price, as the lack of control. I ended up buying things I didn't really need, in THREE different stores that day. Had to scrimp on the groceries. I could justify the Joe Fresh things by saying they were for working out. I've lost enough weight my track pants are falling off when I run or jump. Hurray. But the fuschia velvet skirt was really just a colour hook. I've used all the Joe Fresh workout gear in the past two weeks, but have yet to use my new boots or velvet garb. Soooo, I will need to a) avoid the mall, b) stop and think about need versus want before I do buy things. And make a plan to wear velvet and cowboy boots this weekend so I can asuage my guilty conscience.

I'm trying to get really specific about my spending, to live BENEATH my means (& spend less than I make), and to stop buying things I don't need. I think a new goal is that I will not buy any clothing for myself, (except something like new runners if mine wear out) until I reach my goal weight and need some new things. Also, another goal is that we will only spend $80 on food per week. This will be challenging, shopping for my wife and I with this amount, but I think it is doable. Tracking expenses, getting started on the spreadsheet, working on a budget to pay off debt and get back to saving (currently I'm only saving $150 a month for retirement) will be ongoing areas of action.

Suzie's message thus far is about truth and lies and money. She talks about how when we aren't true to our situation, it creates financial problems. i.e.: try to keep up with pals with money, have gadgets and clothes that don't reflect what we can actually afford, feel afraid to say no to invitations to do social things we can't really afford, think that if we can afford to charge it on our credit cards means we can really afford it, etc. I found it helpful; I'm thinking about how I can be more truthful about my spending (being true to my financial reality and also my goals for the future). And, in general, all this stuff is keeping me focused on my goals by constant bombardment :)

That's about it for now, so stay tuned for an update soonish.

xo Tara

Clean Slate

2012-01-08T13:05:00.001-05:00

Hey there,

It's 2012, and world ending predictions aside, I'm trying to figure out what I want from myself this year. I found out over the past two years, that if I put my mind to a goal, even a tough one, I can really do it. I also realize that I'm the type of person who particularly enjoys turning things into 'projects'.

In 2010 I made a goal of not buying anything new for a year. And I did it. I didn't even buy so much as a pen. And it felt very good and gave me a strong sense of being able to tough something out. I also was able to be quite effective financially with paying things off and saving.

2011 was a different kind of year. I set my primary goal on my physical health and really decided to give 'er. It was quite successful. I lost 30.2 lbs in 2011 and have been regularly attending a boot camp exercise class three mornings a week at 6:30 a.m. If you know anything about my typically Taurean sensibilities, this will shock and amaze you. It's been an ongoing effort to eat better and be more active, but well worth it in terms of how much stronger and fitter I feel. Like everyone, I'm getting older and there simply is never going to be a better time to get healthy. Also, it's something I'm just going to need to keep chipping away at forever. Like the dishes and laundry - you're never really done.

So here we are at 2012. I'm feeling fitter and stronger, but I still haven't gotten quite to my goal. And in fact, to get really specific, my goal is to reach a 'Lifetime Membership' with Weight Watchers, so I can be hired as a leader there, and phase out my second job. For those of you who have read my blog in the past, you'll know it is a long held dream of mine to 'retire' from having two jobs. My economic reality is that with 25 months left to pay on my student loan (I'm paying $1050 per month to shorten it to 25 months-was 28 months), I NEED two jobs.

I'm hoping that by getting to a goal weight & getting hired by Weight Watchers to lead groups, I can kill two birds with one stone: Stay focused on my own healthy living, AND put my facilitation skills to use while moving them to a less draining second job.

My current second job is four evenings a week for 3.5 hours working with people who have been homeless with addictions and mental illness. It is important work, but after a full day working in community mental health, lately, I find myself struggling to have the energy to do this all evening too.

What I've been working on in my spare time, leading up to and since New Year's, is quantifying my plan to make this stuff happen. Spending less money is also a part of the picture. As someone (maybe Chris Rock?) said, I don't want to be working two jobs just to be broke at the end of the month!

I also think that I'll feel MUCH differently about having two jobs when I don't NEED them both. i.e.: if I was just saving dough with the second job and had the Financial Freedom to chuck it anytime I wanted. I've conceptualized my NEED for the second job as ending when my student loan is paid off. My second job pays me approximately $1380 per month. (There are other perks like 40% of a monthly metropass and about $65 month to my RRSPs). My student loan is costing me $1050 per month. When that expense is paid in full, I should theoretically be able to survive without my second job.

But, I also think that every extra $1050 (one month's worth of student loan) I can scare up, shortens my NEED to have a second job by an extra month. I'm looking to shorten the 25 months remaining if at all possible.

Another thing I'm working on is a real budget that has me automatically transferring money on payday that accounts for all expenses that will be coming out, rather than going in and doing it manually the day of. I want to automate it and be ahead enough of the game, so that there is a tiny cushion. Wish me luck! It's still in the fantasy stage with us being 'super cash poor' right now :)

That's about all for now. Hope to be back in touch with y'all soon.

xo Tara

Bubble Girl

2011-08-08T19:31:00.000-04:00

feeling strangely like I've been in a bubble looking at the news of riots in Clapham and Hackney where I slept my last night in London and had a lovely evening. That was Friday night and I headed up to Scotland Saturday with a full day on the train. since I've been here I've spent most of my time watching or pitching comedy shows,and am only hearing about the London riots now. ugh. It's so disturbing to see and think about this senseless violence and waste. It is so glaringly contrasting with the individual experiences I've been having with Strangers giving us lifts and drives, laughing all day long till my cheeks hurt, and buying us drinks and so on.

My sweet UK experiences include sitting on a patio bar in Edinburgh and the owner bringing us blankets. You need a stash of blankets to keep a rainy summer patio business running in Scotland. and the patios are packed full of people despite the October like weather. It's so cozy and charming!

Getting laundry advice from a fellow named Jason. I complained that I had to take my wet clothing on the road with me when I went on to location B, on my vacation, after it failed to dry after a full day hanging at my brother-in-law's place in London. Jason said 'If my clothing takes more than three days to dry, I take it to the launderette'.

Off to bed with a full head.

Xo
Tara

Sunshine on Leith

2011-08-08T14:25:00.000-04:00

I'm delighted to be reporting in from the Edinburgh Fringe. I've come with my wife, who is a delightful stand up and we are enjoying the first rays of sun since I joined her on Saturday. the free Fringe, which she is a part of, is a fitting subject for No New For Tara. we have to pass a hat after her shows and are trying to live on the unpredictable rewards. It meams husbanding our resources, packing 'sammies', walking some places, and kind of acting like we are students. we are having a blast. Strangers are being so nice to us, and we are trying to humbly throw ourselves into the act of drumming up business for the shows and radically accepting what happens after that. so far so good. also, in the lottery of life we lucked out with our land lady who is amazing. She is cooking for us and giving us insider tips and we have friends who are not doing so hot with crowded messy venues and sweating Walls. we have the run of our place and even our own loo.

Xo
Tara

P.s. If you are in Edinburgh come out to one of the shows and I'll stnd you a pint! 5:15 at the Street or 8:50 at the Medina.

Weekend Update

2011-06-04T20:09:00.001-04:00

Hey there,

I'm feeling rusty and out of it, from my long away time here in blog land. I can't exactly pinpoint what the reason is for me being not so able to blog frequently this year, but my gut feeling is that this years goals are kind of different from last year and take more of my time than last year's goals, and so I've been blogging less. Also, some of my goals are things I'm not sure how to blog about or necessarily fit into this blog's thematic zone. I've been getting healthier. And in service to that goal, sometimes I'm spending more on things like food and exercise stuff than I was last year. I'm also letting myself off the hook for buying pricier food things if they are healthy and easy. Because I'm putting a kind of premium on what ever helps me move in that direction. I am in my 40's now, so living off potato chips is no longer such a viable default plan nor particularly forward-thinking for me.

The other thing I've done more of is shop. Mainly for my weakness, clothing. And this is the thing, since I've lost 21 lbs (between January of this year and now), I have this wicked part of me that feels VERY keen to try on new clothing and to tell myself that I deserve new clothing! Now, don't get too upset. I've not gone bananas, but I've bought myself 4 new dresses (some were gifts I talked others into buying me for my birthday). I also bought myself 3 sports bras. I feel completely comfortable with

In line with my NoNewForTara goals, I've also reached into my personal possession archives and managed to resurrect a bunch of clothing I hadn't fit into for a long time. Seriously gratifying. I also visited my Mom a couple of times, and as you know, she is the queen of re-gifting, and of de-cluttering her possessions unto her offspring. As such, I was able to get new hiking runners, sandals, dress pants, and of course, her signature weakness-cardigans. Most of these items Mom starts passing to me upon arrival in Ottawa to try on. They often still have the tags on them, or she has worn them a maximum of one time, but they fell short on some crucial criterion she rigorously measures all her possessions against. Lucky for me, many of her items do not pass muster, and I get to have that new car smell without the cost.

As far as my goals for 2011 go, besides the not shopping, which is less than the best, but way better than historically, I've been doing pretty well on some, and so so on others. You may recall, I did an Annual Review and rhymed a bunch of goals off in January 2011. I'll be meeting my like minded friend, Christine next weekend to do the mid-year report card on how we are measuring up to our goals. Doing a quick scan of my pretty book dedicated to this I see:
1. re: money, I am not as far ahead as I'd like, but I am still committed to semi-retirement by the end of the year (cross your fingers for me). Semi-retirement basically means giving up my part time job and only having my full time job.
2. trips: I've been to Boston, and am hoping to squeeze in both Newfoundland and Edinburgh. It will be a tight squeeze financially, but Newfoundland is home, and I really want to get to see my wife perform in the Fringe Festival in August.
3. professionally, I'm feeling good, albeit overloaded. I've taken CBT courses, and taken on new job for the year, which was a very refreshing challenge and learned many new things.
4. creative: I've done less knitting and writing, but MORE ukulele playing :)
5. personal: I've definitely gotten healthier. I've been doing out-of-character things like getting up at 7am to go work out, paying attention to what I eat, and I can actually almost hold my own in a tickle fight these days.
6. friend outreach: I've been seeing and being with a lot of old, and a few new friends this year, and for that I am so happy. But, I also realize how impossible it is to keep up with everything. I've had to say a couple of 'No's' to requests and am still working on not feeling guilty etc.

These don't sound like a lot, but I can also say this about the year, I feel really good and I feel really happy. Being more physical and active, more organized and planning does make me feel better. Someone has said (and sorry I can't remember who) that it takes just as much energy to be disorganized mess, as it does to be more on top of things. So, all this packing lunch, getting to bed on time more or less, and one legged squats are seemingly worth the bother. Like my stepmother told me, though, I also don't want to make drastic quick changes to my health that I can't sustain, so I'm trying to be pretty gradual about it all to trick my body into not noticing and doing a big rebound or something. I'm not willing to entertain any food plan that doesn't leave room for tall boys and chips.

Soooo, just thought I'd parachute in and give you an update. I still buy many things second hand, or talk people into buying them for me/giving them to me from their own closets, but my scorecard is not the 'perfect 10' it was last year. But, that just means I am reassuringly human.

Nice chatting with you again, it's been an age.

xo
Tara

p.s.: just reconnected with my old friend from grade 1 and 2, Kyran Pittman, who blogs here
p.p.s.: my wife just got uninvited to perform at an anti-homophobia event at a Catholic high school because they found out she was gay-married. Seriously.

Confessions from Boston

2011-03-12T01:10:00.000-05:00

I'm writing from Boston where I did indeed come with my wife and two friends for the Women In Comedy Festival. It's been great seeing her (and Deb) perform and checking out the comedy stylings from women all over the states. I'm having an evening in at our super cheap four star hotel (Thank you Priceline!) since I've had a few late nights in a row.

I've also been slow to recover from a cold/flu thing that held me hard and fast in it's ugly grip for a week and half. Ugh.

Now, for confession time. I've been shopping.

I let my wife buy me shoes. Nice, Merill shoes that are well-made, were on sale for 45 bucks and look super cute on me. I also let her buy me a t-shirt from the Harvard Bookstore. My cousin Tessie took us on a tour, and who can resist Harvard Swag? We had a lovely tour of her campus. The Harvard Yard was ALMOST as great as my epic Harvard Nap yesterday. Yesterday I met up with Tessie on my own and we spent three of my four visiting hours having a decadent afternoon nap in her newly purchased W Hotel bed in her Harvard undergrad residence, Adam's Hall. It was the best!

But back to my confessions. I ended up buying underwear, a bathing suit cover up, and capri's with a built in skirt. I feel okay about all the purchases because they seem justified, but a little weird because I feel like I am 'cheating'. The underwear are good quality, cheap, and I didn't really get that many undies in January especially of the non-cotton kind. The bathing suit cover up makes it possible to use the bathing suit in public, which sounds reasonable.

And as for the 'skapris', they are something I've basically been waiting for years for someone to invent. My wife and I love skorts. In this embarrassing video from my blog's inception on December 31st 2009, I found a pair of capris with built in running skirt the day before my year of not shopping. I LOVE this thing and wear it all the time, but it is a sportsy article of clothing, with a breast cancer logo on it, and not really appropriate for evening-out wear, for example. And here I am in the United States at Macy's and low and behold they have 'skapris' (skirt capris) and I am putty in their hands. I must have them.

So, this year, my goal of not buying new again from February onwards has been besmirched. I guess I am less committed to it than 2010 because I don't have something to prove in the same way. I did go a year without shopping already. It's not that I'm going bananas with shopping, but I am allowing myself to make exceptions that I did not make in 2010. I simply did not get anything last year. This year 'if it's justified' I'm obviously more willing to let it slide. Hopefully I will manage to keep my barometer for what's justifiable reasonable, but clearly I'm having more trouble denying myself this year. Hmmm.

Saving money, not being wasteful, and becoming less cluttered are all good reasons for me to keep on trucking with the no new goal. And like being healthy, it's probably best to think of tomorrow as a new day, rather than consider the whole of 2011 a wash after one little Boston binge.

Back in Toronto and regular life on Sunday.

Nighty Night
xo Tara

P.S.:

We are thinking about our uncle, aunt and niece, who are thankfully okay in Japan today. Uncle Ian did post on CBC: on Citizen Byte.

So Many Money Decisions

2011-02-27T22:00:00.000-05:00

Hiya,

It's the end of another break neck week of work and fun. I've been working overtime on my friend and family outreach efforts and on not buying anything new. In fact, just yesterday I finally unpacked my many, many new sock's from January's shopping blow out. If you take long enough to unpack, it feels like a whole nother free, fresh treat - kind of like finding money in your winter coat when you haul it out of storage.

This week also held lots of lovely gatherings and groupings including but not limited to: a work debrief over pitchers of brew; an all-female stand-up comedy recital by some amazing students of my gifted wife ("Special Ops"); My book club ("Room: a Novel", read it!); meeting up with a long lost newly engaged pal for a toast; learning to 'cable' at knitting night with young lesbians in a sports bar...Pictures pending...(thank you in advance, Sera!); yummy mac & cheese and multiple, nostalgic, vintage gifts from my great aunt who is moving in 3 weeks to a condo and frantically downsizing (like wine glasses and decanter from my late Nanny's 1st year of marriage 63 years ago); volunteering; and today a date to see Sandra Shamas' latest show at Winter Garden theatre.All this on top of two jobs. Phew.

Besides this good stuff, I find out today that I might get a chance to go to Boston on March 9th to accompany my wife. She is performing in a female comedy festival there. If I can get it off work, I can see Boston for the first time, and serendipitously arrive on the day that my youngest cousin submits her thesis to Harvard. I've been meaning to get down there to see her and tour the city and the university and all that for almost 4 years. The countdown is on before she graduates and it's too late for me to get the real insider scoop. So, please cross your fingers that work-one and work-two can spare me for three days at super short notice.

Last year around this time I suddenly decided to go to the Olympics - my first trip to Vancouver. As I think about it, I ended up doing 5 trips to Newfoundland and a trip out to British Columbia last year, on top of doing all that saving and not buying stuff. This year, I've got these hard core debt repayment goals, but now possible trips are cropping up. Boston. Maybe Washington. (We have an aunt, who amazingly has moved to D.C. right on the main drag in a sweet diplomatic home with rooms to spare for visiting nieces.) Newfoundland for family and probably my grandmother's 90th birthday. Scotland in the summer.

All the travel possibilities have me excited, but then a bit of anxiety starts rising as I think of the cost etc. I do think it's important to take care of business (TCB), but I also want to live and have experiences; acting as our pal Mae Martin would say, more or less, 'young and free'. I want to pay off that albatross debt AND have lots of fun travel memories to look back on when this year is at its end. I am feeling a little bit more that I should not say 'no' to too many spontaneous opportunities. I don't want to be cheaping out on cool experiences. Friends who suddenly became ill and now can't enjoy the retirement they saved up and sacrificed for, makes me not want to be erring too far in that direction. So, I'm making my way, two steps forward, one step back, towards both financial freedom, and a life more than half lived.

Okay, enough about me. I've got to go and get organized for the rigors of tomorrow.

xo Tara

Family Day Eve

2011-02-20T18:11:00.000-05:00

Twas the night before family day, and all through the house (aka condo), I could be seen and heard jumping for joy that I have the day off tomorrow. Don't get me wrong. I love my work, but a long weekend is not unwelcome.

I've been more of a weekly blogger of late, I'm noticing. Since the new year and my big plans to follow through on goals from my Annual Review (thanks Chris Guillebeau), I have noticed that simple sounding things like 'getting to bed on time', 'packing a lunch' and 'walking an hour a day' really eat into my discretionary units of internet time.

In the first 5 days of January I was in Ottawa hanging with my mother. I spent quite a bit of that time, and all of the 5 hour bus ride home to Toronto working on my Annual Review goals for 2011. I decreed that 2011 was going to be a year of 'Release' and that I was going to focus on my 'Big 9' areas (I've made links to some sources of inspiration for these):

Financial (Savings, Debt repayment, Edinburgh, Nothing New after January)
Creative (Writing, Crafting, Blogging, Music, Stand-up, Documentary)
Travel (Newfoundland, England, Edinburgh, Bard writing retreat)
Marriage (Common Goals, Fun, Domestic, Plus some privacy protected goals here!)
Family (Twin, Mom, Dad, Steps, In-laws, Siblings, Nanny, Cuz'ins, Other extended family)
Friends (Friday night friend outreach, Friday friend lunches, Stitch & Bitch, Book Club, 'Show Up')
Health (Weight Watchers, Walking, Multi-task working out, Yoga)
Organization (Home decluttering, Bills, Closet renos, Work systems to get more efficient)
Personal (Self-confidence, Appearance, Mindfulness)

It's a lot of stuff to think about. And, as usual, I am a work in progress. I've recently picked up my gorgeous special Knock Knock organization books from my friend Christine Bougie. But, as yet, I've gotten started on my work one, but not my 'fun' one (aka the non-work-rest-of-life one).

I did make some cute icons that I need to figure out how to make electronically so I can share them. But, in my grubby notebook, just drawing them works fine.

I'll catch you up on where I'm at, progress wise:

Financially: I've decided to place massive laser beam focus on paying off my non-student loan debt before cutting down to one job. If all goes well and I don't get fired or laid off, and save like a maniac between now and the end of November 2011, I've calculated that I can pay off the $1969 on my CIBC Visa, as well as the $15466 on a personal loan. I'm using some of the concepts like 'snowball' payments where when you finish paying off one debt (i.e.: I just finished my RRSP loan, so I am applying the $430 biweekly I paid on that to expediting the payment of this blasted personal loan.) I'm putting on hold radical saving for cottage until debt is paid off, and am saving a modest amount for trips this year.
Creative: I have been blogging, albeit less frequently. I've been writing a few jokes. (I'm more theoretically interested in joke writing as I do not feel the need to have two stand-ups in our household, but do like having different modes of creative writing outlets.). I've been keeping up the crafting with monthly things with my stitch & bitchers, I've bought myself a ukulele (It is on loan right now to a very funny actress, Linda, in my wife's class. Perhaps if times get too tough down the road on one job only, I can rent it out!). I've also been mucking about with a cheap, fun, doc idea about twins. Still needs lots of thought.
Travel: I definitely plan to travel home to Newfoundland, to see my wife perform in the 2011 Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and possibly to a writing retreat in New York State at Bard College.
Marriage: We've been enjoying working on common goals and finding time for fun things together this year. Travelling to Scotland will be a highlight.
Family: Focused time spent with my twin, visiting my family in Toronto and in Ottawa and Newfoundland are in the works, and in some cases already happening regularly. I've also got 3 engaged relations (cousins and siblings) which makes for some upcoming fun clan gatherings. And, I read a book about women's family relationships which I think is going to help me strengthen all of mine.
Friends: I'm trying very hard to make sure I do lunch with one (or more) friend on Fridays and get together in the evening with someone/some people I like to hang out with. My 'friend outreach' has been quite successful this year, with me doing something all but one Friday since the beginning of January.
Health: I rejoined weight watchers the second week of January, since if I'm not really structured and focused on it, I'm basically gaining. It's actually been a fun way to start my Sundays. I have coffee and hang with my sister after and then plan and shop for groceries. After 6 weeks I've lost 10.8 lbs which is plenty fast, since I'd just as soon keep it off. I've been walking a lot, packing my ridiculously healthy lunches, swapping stories with my like-minded coworkers, and bringing clients from work to the YMCA (my idea to multitask being healthy for me with getting clients healthier, as well as other coworkers). I've even used our condo gym 3 times in the past two weeks almost shocking my wife into stupefaction. AND, I have an unlimited pass for Mokshatres flexible these days.
Organization: I've purchased notebooks that, ah hem, I've yet to put into action. I have some unpacked socks from my January shopping spree. I still do not have sufficient drawer space to unpack them from the shopping bag they came home with me from the mall in. I do have a small bag of donations waiting by the door to leave our home. I have done some small organizing baby steps at the office. MUCH to be done.
Personal: I think that mindfulness meditation has been very helpful for feeling confident I can handle things and feeling peaceful. Also, I put as a part of this goal, keeping up with the grooming stuff. I know I'm not the best at this. I never wear make up. My wife needs to beg me to brush my hair. But my 'deliverables' in this category are: keep up with threading eyebrows; keep up with dying grey hair; keep up with pedicure; and wear skirts occasionally. I'm happy to relate that I am up to date on all of the above. I even took advantage of Friend Outreach Friday to multitask and met my friend Natalie for a pedicure instead of for drinks. We got in a good catch up chat, and walked away with less empty calories in us, and delicious burgundy toes.

That's about all the news for me. I did want to relay a funny story about work before I hit the Tudors on Netflicks: I was telling my sister about how at my part time job there are cutbacks, and a fear of jobs being cut, and a general message to do more, spend less money, get more clients out to things, etc. As Dawn's eloquent Dad would say, to 'eat it and say yummy'. I was relaying my woeful tale of how tough things are to my twin. As in, I need to keep this job until the end of November when I've paid off my debt, then I had this meeting with our manager who sort of let us know it's all a house of cards that could come tumbling down so 'do more, better, with less, damn it!' And my twin hauled out a Toronto Life magazine from her bag, and said, you mean like this? The article was called 'Work Sucks', and begins, "It's not just you. We're all working more, making less and going berserk. Tales from the post-recession office." And with that we were able to howl with recognition and laughter.

Happy Family Day Eve. My wife just got home so I'm off for some mutual admiration society stuff.

xo Tara

My Unmaterial Valentine

2011-02-14T20:59:00.000-05:00

Not to be mistaken with immaterial. This year, since my wife had to work from 8pm-10pm on Valentine's Day (Otherwise known as Black Monday - supposedly coined by an old roommate of mine), and I worked until 8pm, we had our celebration yesterday.

Did we go out for a romantic, candlelit dinner and shower each other with expensive trinkets? I'm guessing you already know the answer to this one. Instead, we lived out a long held fantasy to eat Chippy's while watching British mini-series at home. Chippy's, in case you are not in the know, is Toronto's best fish and chips place. It was voted best the last few years by both of Toronto's hip weeklies. They offer you your choice of several types of fish, and the fries are home cut nirvana. They are slightly overcooked to a gorgeous brown and each serving contains way too many fries for health or comfort. It has been about 2 years since we got Chippy's. It's not that close to home, and it's not that much fun to eat it hovering over their counter on one of their few stools. But yesterday, we made a delicious exception to the rule. I ordered and raced for the subway as soon as it was ready, carefully keeping the top of the paper bag open to keep the steam from making it soggy. It took 23 interminable minutes to get home, but finally I arrived and we grabbed our portions and hit the computer + newly arranged dining zone for the cued up British cop show my wife had found us. We enjoyed the show and our eater's remorse thoroughly all afternoon.

We also took some time to appreciate each other and I'm even treating my wife to a hairdo as an adjunct to Valentine's Chippy's. No new stuff, but a new hairdo will make her feel spiffy and loved.

Today, on actual Valentine's day, my wife sent me off by tattooing me with a red marker. I've got heart. Now, I'm home earlier than her, so I intend to use my solo Valen-time to watch shows she's already seen as I munch on dark chocolate and sip a locovore whisky beverage. We'll regroup for some mutual appreciation society when she gets back.

Take home message: You don't need to buy stuff to feel the love on Black Monday.

xo Tara

Vintage Cloak

2011-02-08T23:54:00.000-05:00

I gave up buying new again as of Feb. 1st and already the universe is providing in terms of me not needing to buy new stuff. My mother-in-law showed up with a gorgeous long, black, winter cloak made of cashmere and blended wool. It was made in a Toronto shop, and has genuine vintage cred. It's original owner is my wife's grandfather's girlfriend. She has recently moved to a nursing home and was one meticulously attired and groomed lady. My wife deemed it way too girly for her and perfect for me. It fits so great. It would seem that my cup runneth over with an embarrassment of riches. I now have not one but two cloaks/capes (since I bought one during my January shopping frenzy - see yesterday's post for long list of shopping escapades). This one is solid black, longer, and luxuriant, well made vintage cashmere. The other one is fuller, shorter, tweed mixed black and white. Nice enough, but not nearly as awesome.

In other news, it is seriously my bedtime. I've stayed up too late catching up on email, which goes against my new world order of bedtime by 11:00pm. But I have kept up with my rigid packing-my-lunch-before-going-to-bed rule. Honestly, if you are trying to be healthy, you spend most of your life standing in the kitchen packing your lunch. So you might as well learn to like it, right? I'm practicing mindfulness as I prepare my lunch. A handy way to kill two birds with one joyful stone.

xo Tara

Great Expectations

2011-02-07T12:09:00.000-05:00

Hi there,

I'm rather tardy on posting. I've had this problem before. When I give myself something really specific that I want to do on the blog, I end up postponing writing until everything is right with the universe and I can focus on writing about just that one thing properly. I've done it with the creativity stuff and the Reverb10 writing too. It's probably better for flow if I don't be so specific in my head, since my inner blogger often flakes out if I can't do what I set out to do.

What I've been postponing writing about is January. The first month of 2011, when I was free to shop for the month and have been working on various other projects. I've been setting lofty goals of doing tidy posts on: 1. my Annual Review of goals, and 2. the stuff I bought and money I spent in January after a year of not shopping, 3. what's next etc.

To be honest, January's end was quite full of, well, shopping. I spent some time last night tallying up the damage, and it's more than I realized. All told, I spent......$855.93 on 'stuff' during my sanctioned month of buying new things. A bit of it was stuff for my wife and I, but mostly for me. (FYI: in case you don't know this, I'm not buying anything new for the rest of the year again). Some highlights from my list:

an orange ukulele with case and song book (turns out I liked it better than the pink one)
my favourite, fancy, expensive fine tipped markers (20 colour pack)
a bunch of moleskin notebooks in various sizes and colours
a couple of bins and tins for craft supply organization
a swimsuit
a toilet brush, potato peeler, tea towels, paring knives
a winter cape, cute boots, gloves, and scarf
underwear and sock blowout (got over $100 worth of each)
full length mirror
earrings from Ten Thousand Villages
Winner's shopping spree - 2 dresses, 1 skirt, 2 cardigans ($154.35)
Joe Fresh shopping spree - included 28 items (massively reduced, bill was only $131.70-conscience on red alert re: why so cheap?)

I did not end up getting a Tilly Hat, or a kitchen rack for my pots and pans. Time ran out. It became easier to shop as the month went on, but I am kind of relieved to be done for the year now. It is hard to stop once you get on a roll.

Again, I'll have to work to cull my old crap, to make the new fit in, and not feel over-cluttered and like the walls are closing in on our wee condo.

I also have been going full tilt on some of my other goals around being healthier and doing more 'non-passive leisure' and 'friend outreach'. Being healthier feels like a bit of a strange thing to talk about. It's one of those things where you can feel boring or self-righteous if you get it wrong. Let's just say, I've been working hard to try and take really good care of myself for just over a month now. I've been walking more, packing my lunch, eating like a normal person would instead of like a sumo wrestler, that kind of thing. I've also been sleeping better and I definitely feel more calm and less stressed out on a day to day basis.

Seeing lots of friends. I've been booking lunch dates on Fridays, so that I get to see people I like, and actually leave the building for lunch. So often these days we end up skipping our break and working hunched over desks with our lunches. By making plans with others outside I am shifting this in a nice way. Also, I've resumed Stitch & Bitch (Friday we had a great one at my twin's), and I've finished my first 'freestyle hat'. It is 1000 times better than the giant one I made for my wife. I will revisit knitting a hat for her now that my improvisation has galvanized me. Also, our book club met last week and will be meeting again in 2 weeks. I am doing games night with a friend couple this weekend and bowling with another friend couple on Saturday. If you don't book times with friends, you don't see them. Or at least I don't. I don't seem to just bump into my buddies without some leg work.

Had a sweet visit with my 89 year old grandmother yesterday too. She can barely see out of the one eye she has left, but is still happy to let you and everyone know if you've gained or lost any weight recently. Fortunately I fell in the former category this visit. Whew. It was nice to Laing out with my cousins, aunts, in-laws and other extended family.

Okay, I'd better get back to work. I'm using my lunch break to blog today, so pat me on the back for not working through it.

I'll be blogging more about my 'laser sharp focus' on the goal of paying off a loan that is now at $16,151. I want that beast gone by the time I leave my second job. Argh. It's a big task.

Talk soon for reals.

xo Tara

Last Shopping Saturday

2011-01-29T12:02:00.000-05:00

I'm poised and almost ready to run out the door with my shopping list on this, my final weekend of shopping for new stuff before Feb. 1st and my self-imposed, rest of the year, shopping embargo resumes.

Feeling a bit dazed from a wild, late night at my book club's 5 year anniversary last night. My sister and I had a grand, laughing, good time and didn't leave until after 1:30am, astonished at the lateness. I ended up crashing at my sister's place. Our commute from the east end book club site on public transit ended around 2:30am. I had to endure witnessing the mating dance and the end of night slobbering of what seemed like all the drunks in Toronto, stone cold sober. It's amazing how surreal 2:30am looks when you've been partying without the assistance of alcohol surrounded by the masses who have.

It was also a healthy way to keep our egos in check. My sister and I were accosted by a weaving drunkard during our interminable wait at Bathurst for the street car. His opener clinched it for us, "Are you two lesbians?" His close talking, steamy booze-breathed familiarity; coupled with him cornering us in the shelter did not endear him to us."I'm just asking. You don't know right? Are you Portuguese? Are you Italian? Are you Trinidadian? Do you speak French? I like you hair? Did you do it today? Did you straighten it?" We answered his steady stream of invasive questions monosyllabically until something shiny distracted him and he moved on to the next person.

There he had more success, perhaps because with her, his opening line was "Are you a model?" My sister and I ended up cracking up with relief as we listened to their laughter and inanities next to us. Everything's relative. We found him threatening, but she had no problem joking around and making small talk. I guess we were just too tired to have his brand of smelly small talk imposed on us.

Enough about last night, oh, except to say, we did the book, "The Year of Living Generously" about a year of volunteering, which seemed to invoke strong and different responses from our group. We have a mixed bag of both sexes and ages range from mid twenties to early sixties. I can't comment on the book yet, since I went at the last minute and haven't read but a few pages. I will read it, and it was good enough to goad a few members of the group on to want to do more volunteering. I also inherited 3 used books (we swap at book clubs). So, another Friday was put to 'Friend Outreach' successfully. The upcoming book club, in February, my twin and I are co-hosting, and the book is the superlative "Room" by Emma Donoghue. Next week will be another such Friend Outreach Friday, with Stitch & Bitch revisited. I'm so happy. I love hanging with those gals.

Okay, breakfast then shop till I drop.

xo Tara

P.S.: thanks to Shannon for even more Friend Outreach Friday, with our lovely lunch and the gently used copy of Vanity Fair! I've been trying to book friends for lunches on Fridays and for fun hanging out on Friday nights.

Lies

2011-01-26T17:56:00.000-05:00

My wife thinks I've been lying to my readers because I haven't been posting the tax I've been paid for my shopping. She sure can be a stickler for detail when she wants to. I argued that tax is different in different countries, so I was being internationally friendly. I'll tell you what, I'm going to do a tidy summary of January at the end so people can ooh and aah at my exciting purchases and I will include the tax.

I'm down to 6 shopping days, and I still haven't spent that much time on it, so some of things on my list are getting down to the wire. I'll have to step up. Since I've gotten out of the habit of shopping, it does feel a bit like work!

Okay, I've got job number two to get to, so this will be brief, but expect great things (shopping wise) from me this weekend.

Also, I've finally honed down my Annual Review to 9 sub-headings I want to focus on. And I came up with little symbols to represent and remind me of each of them. I'm still searching for the perfect notebook my friend, Christine showed me to write them down daily in manageable chunks. More on that later. Christine is a brilliant blogger and magical musician who often writes about ways of being organized.

In the always exciting clean-living-news, I've been really, really good about packing my lunch, walking and going to bed by 11pm with a novel so far this month. Being so organized and sensible really cuts down on my available time for bad habits and riot starting, however.

xo Tara

Another Day, Another 88 Dollars

2011-01-22T23:07:00.000-05:00

Today I set out to get a full length mirror. I think it will help me to clean my closets out, by trying on stuff in front of the mirror and actually being able to see what it looks like. I also think it will help me to be a tad more presentable. I'm still working on remembering to brush my hair before I leave the house. Baby steps. My wife generally reminds me, 'Honey, you've gotta brush your hair.'

I ended up coming home with a black, A-line, Calvin Klein skirt that fits perfectly and is flattering ($39.99), a red 'flow-y' dress ($22.00), and a brown knit dress ($16) that fits really well, especially at the shoulders. My sister was a patient wing woman in the lengthy process I took to savour my shopping moments while I have them.

I ended up eventually finding my mirror after a lot of no luck situations. I saw a bunch of giant, ornate ones in the department store that looked as if they would fit in nicely on the set of Victor Newman's mansion on the Young and Restless. Unfortunately, in our modest condo, if I brought home one of those mirrors, I'd have to remove the couch or something just to fit it in. So I got a cheap one that will hang on the back of our bedroom door. I have big plans for closet thinning once I figure out how to hang it, tomorrowish. I can cross one thing off my list and three spontaneous girlie clothing items that were not on my list. The thrills of shopping in January. Only 9 more shopping days left for me...

Tomorrow we leave at noon to visit my in-laws in Hamilton. A whole bunch of them. My mother-in-law, both of my wife's grandparents, and my sister-in-law and her baby - our nephew, Sammy. He calls me Ra-Ra. Pretty cool, huh?

Before Sammy, my only nickname was when my friend Rick got a bunch of our friends to start calling me Ta-ra, because he felt bad I'd never had a nickname (pronounced to rhyme with 'Ta-Da!'). Actually, that's a lie. My friend Mark came up with a new one for me every day. T-Dog, T-Money, Clubber Laing, The Lainger, etc. etc. I miss working with him and having so many rap star sounding alter egos.

xo Tara

Purse Contents Like the Queen

2011-01-22T01:13:00.000-05:00

My twin just read aloud to me from an article on the royals and money. It was mainly focusing on Kate Middleton's singular financial issues as a young gal about to marry the future King of England. So, obviously, highly relevant to my own pecuniary situation.

But something stood out when they brought up the Queen's money as well as the contents of her royal handbag. Apparently the Queen does not carry money in her purse. I just about cracked up when my sister read:

According to the book What's in the Queen's Handbag, Queen Elizabeth carries no cash in her pocketbook, instead filling it with keepsakes such as family photos and lucky charms.

It does sound pretty funny. Like she's touring about in her cute lady like suits, with a purse full of snapshots and children's cereal. Perhaps, once February comes and I'm gone off the shopping, I shall follow Elizabeth's lead. If I keep no cash in my unroyal pocketbook, it will be doubly easy to not spend.

As I've mentioned before, 2011 will be all about paying off debt. In particular, I am focusing a laser beam of debt reducing intentional energy upon a loan I have that is just over $16,000. I want it paid before I leave my second job in the fall. It's likely to be very challenging and a bit boring, but in my nerdy way, I'm kind of excited about it.

This week's Now magazine is called 'The Money Issue'. The link is to their article on 'Slow money wins the race'. Some of it talks about how money that goes to a chain gets 'whisked out of the economy, often within 24 hours' and discusses ways to slow it down and keep it hanging about serving the community. An interesting factoid: 'A litre of Ontario wine sold in Ontario puts $8.48 back in the economy, compared to 67 cents from an import.' There are more articles on various topics including ethical local investing, and a good one on DIY financial planning. I mean to check out a program called 'Mint.com' after reading it.

On the shopping news front, another purchase last night. I spent about an hour and a half trying on a mile of sweaters. Slightly ridiculous, because I actually have many cardigans. But I do wear a lot of them, so they are something I obviously like and use. I ended up buying two that I am pleased with, and spent $49.98 on the pair of them. Still lots of work to do to finish getting the items on my list and finalize some goals for the rest of the year. Hopefully tomorrow will bring the just right coffee shop, blank page, & comfortable writing surface moment to pull all that together.

xo
Tara

p.s.: Mom told me to keep a pretty, red, $50 bill in my wallet but not to spend it. She said it encourages you to feel wealthy, and for just-in-cases you do have that money, so you never truly feel broke. Rather, you feel like you are making a wise decision not to spend it. She also thinks it encourages other money to come and keep it (the red 50) company. I've had my lucky $50 in there since January 5th. So far so good.

2011-01-17T16:54:00.000-05:00

My friend Christine and I had a lovely, nerdy friend date yesterday. We went to see Chris Guillebeau's Unconventional Book Tour for his book, The Art of Non Conformity. It was very nice and inspiring. He seemed truly decent, and came over and shyly introduced himself to us before it started. It was standing room only and Christine and I were standing on the side near the front and ended up sitting for part of it. He will be hitting all the provinces, so pop by one of his session if you can.

We then went to a cafe and had tea and fizzy water and talked non-stop for a couple of hours about goals and planning, and how to organize them and how to write them out. Christine has a lot of good ideas on this and has an interesting combo of artist's brain and ++ logical systems thinker stuff. She talks about some of these things in her blog and she writes weekly on Tuesdays only for now while she is busy composing a new album.

I left feeling energized about my own goals and also feeling the need to get a little more tidy and specific in them. Christine also had little symbols for some of her goals and writes them anew each day in her book so they really get ingrained. It's like an image to sum up the goal. Kind of easy to call on rather writing it out in full necessarily. I attended a training once for CBT where the facilitator encouraged us to get our clients to come up with metaphors for their strengths, that they could call on during hard times to draw upon their resilience. I like the idea of an image or symbol or metaphor for goals to make them easy to remember and focus on.

Okay, time to hit the road and go knitting for job # 2...

xo Tara

Shopping Update

2011-01-14T17:42:00.000-05:00

I've added some items to my growing list of shopping I've done this month. If you're new to this, I didn't buy anything new for a year, but am allowing myself a month of shopping (January 2011) and will resume my nothing new plan for the rest of 2011.

Last night I bought some long gloves (now I have two pairs, so decadent) for my vintage swing coat with 3/4 length sleeves, and after two separate trips to the mall fully 12 days apart, bought a cape style winter coat. I've always wanted one. You can put it on over things that don't easily fit under a coat (i.e.: a poncho or wrap), and it speaks to the inner vampire in me. Just kidding, it's not black, it's more of a tweed. The gloves were 1/2 price at around $12.50, and the cape was actually about 70% off and came in at $85 big ones.

But this is the most exciting news of the day. I popped into the pharmacy to get some deodorant and toothpaste as we are running low. I thought I'd get the same one we got last time, it was fine and lasted a while. It's called 'Ban'. I scanned the shelves and discovered to my delight that they were on sale for 36 cents! I bought all of them. I recommend any other people who hate spending money on toiletries rush out to PharmaPlus and stock up on their Ban deodorant. But don't go to the one at Dundas West and Bloor. There's none left. Oh Oh. I think I'm turning into my depression era Nanny.

I'm off to have dinner with my friends Tara and Anya. If you'll recall, one of my goals is to do 'friend outreach' on Fridays. My wife typically works late on that evening, and I get off early. I love it when other people cook for me! A great start to my weekend.

xo Tara

Geek Out Plan for Sunday

2011-01-13T19:49:00.000-05:00

I just realized (or re-realized?) that Chris Guillebeau, who inspired my annual review, is coming to Toronto this weekend. It's part of his Unconventional Book Tour. He is a pretty unique dude with a lot of interesting things to say. He is also working on travelling around the world to every single country, and is popping in to every province in Canada over the next two weeks. I'm going to see if my list & goal focused friend, Christine, wants to go with me.

She just wrote a good entry with a link to an article about how we fail at resolutions. Merlin Mann advises us to consider fresh starts and modest changes and look at failure as 'The sound of beginning to suck a little less'. Hopefully my resolutions will fall into the fresh starts and modest changes category rather than circling the drain too quickly this year. Be it resolved that in 2011, I will suck a little less. It feels quite do-able, actually.

In case you are into the goal/list thingy, the 'Meet up' for Chris Guillebeau on Sunday will be at Indigo Manulife at 2pm, Jan. 16th, 2011. It's at 55 Bloor St. West in Toronto.

xo Tara

The Gift of Time

2011-01-11T18:27:00.000-05:00

I have a rare, not-so-late shift tonight, thanks to some wheeling and dealing on Thursday, where I will be running back and forth between two jobs more than once. Ugh. I should just focus on enjoying tonight while it lasts. I'll be leaving the day job shortly to go home and keep on keeping on with my long list of to-do's.

A couple of my New Year's to-do's I've been staying fairly well abreast of, including: packing my lunch and dinner, walking to work, and going to bed by 11:00pm. Last night it was before 11:30, so I consider it an almost victory over my endless evening puttering habit. Such humble goals are part of my master plan to be a bit healthier and a bit thriftier this year.

Looking forward to some friend visiting and more new stuff shopping this weekend. In the meantime, I'll be practicing the fine art of domestic felicity tonight.

xo Tara

Graduated From Mindfulness Class Today

2011-01-10T21:06:00.001-05:00

Today was my final mindfulness mediation class. I'm really going to miss it. It gave me both perspective and a clearer view of how noisy, boring, and repetitive many of my thoughts are, as well as a few useful tools for dealing with that, feeling good, and staying present.

Now, I'm supposed to just keep using it on my own. Kind of like continuing to do homework after the course is done, I'm sure that will be a challenge, but probably a worthwhile one. I could really use a tutor though.

I'm also testing out a new day planner. I start every year with visions of this day planner being the one that 'changes everything'. Ha! Such optimism. But, better than being a pessimist, right?

I've yet to type up my final version of my Annual Review of goals for 2011 (including spreadsheet), but have used about 30 pages of rough notes so far. Enough to send my wife scurrying for cover when I fanned the pages and suggested a comprehensive chat about our mutual finances. Not the most romantic words ever uttered. Fortunately, we do seem relatively well synced on these issues right now. I'll be posting more details on money goals soon. I'd like to do this as: 1. I'm curious how other people cope with debt, saving, and paying for life, and 2. I could use the 'accountability' factor of sharing them.

Still haven't shopped since my socks and tights spree. Will keep you posted on any other 'new' purchases that come my way in January month.

Talk soon,
xo Tara

Winning is Nice

2011-01-07T17:09:00.000-05:00

I forgot to mention, I won the Kindle eReader contest with www.icancanu.com. It turns out it's back ordered, so it may take a little while to get it, but it is exciting to be the winner. And nice to have my efforts (and those of my friends who helped me out) at helping this favour exchange network grow, rewarded so literally.

I am a big reader and am curious to try this new fangled way of getting my read on. Also, I will be chatting soon with a very interesting woman named Lisa Gansky that I heard about through icancanu. She wrote a book called 'The Mesh' about how 'the future of business is sharing'. I'm intrigued and it seems to suit my goals for decreasing consumption and the ethos of icancanu, too. Perhaps I'll read The Mesh on my new Kindle.

Re: my January shopping, I just remembered that during the long year of not shopping I was a bit sad for want of: 1. a new bathing suit I wouldn't have to be 'ashamed for me life' to wear (as Nanny Stuckless might have worded it), 2. a Tilly hat, 3. summery shoes. I'll keep these in mind during my January shopping.

I've ramped up my new stuff as of yesterday. I added to the meager Ottawa mall haul (potato peeler and scarf), by getting socks, tights and a pair of on sale shoe-boots here in Toronto. Very exciting stuff. Three weeks of shopping freedom to go...

Been enjoying my mini-vacation. Met friends visiting from living in England at a restaurant (cool, locovore type place called Brockton General - I would recommend it) last night and stayed up a little late. Today I slept in a bit, had an eyebrow threading and then lunch with an old friend. So decadent not to go to work and be in the city.

Talk soon,
xo Tara

Shopping Second-Hand When I Don't Even 'Have' To

2011-01-04T17:30:00.000-05:00

We set out today on our Mother-Daughters shopping spree not so full of vim and vigor. I had spent the night relentlessly awake. Literally I got less than an hour's sleep due to a misunderstanding about some 'herbal tea' my sister had given mom for Christmas. It turns out the delicious chocolate-scented tea I drank a full pot of around midnight, was indeed quite caffeinated. I spent my hours in bed with thoughts at full gallop. My little sister also had a less than thorough night's sleep at her dad's due to their dog being needy, vulnerable, and noisy following an unwanted bath.

Nonetheless, we prevailed and hit the shops. I have good news to report. I spent $5 on an ergonomic peeler for our kitchen at Home Sense. And, I actually bought my 'new' winter coat at Value Village for $34.99! I was very pleased to find a coat that looked as nice on me as the ones at the Mall did. It is a grey wool coat that comes to the knee. It fits me well, and even my 27-year-old fashionista sister approved.

I managed to survive a full hour of browsing with them at Winner's without buying anything, and when mother I and went into the Jones New York outlet, she suggested I try on a cute winter dress on sale for $19.99. I liked it, but didn't want to spend anymore until I got back to Toronto, so she bought it for me as an early birthday gift!

I'm feeling quite good about being so dang sensible. And lucky. Tonight is my final night in Ottawa, so we are dining out at a local Mexican restaurant.

xo
Tara

Shopping for Free

2011-01-04T00:37:00.002-05:00

My second day of shopping was not very expensive as I basically just used a gift card I got for Indigo to shop. I enjoyed browsing around to make my choices and finally fixed upon the following:
1. a Vegan cookbook (I'm NOT vegan, but I'd like to make more meatless meals).
2. a clean food cookbook (I'd like to cook less processed type things, and this is that kind of cookbook).
3. three different sizes of Moleskine notebooks for my wife and I (big ones for planning, little tiny ones for catching thoughts in, and medium ones for carrying).

I'm using one of the the big ones to do my Annual Review like Chris Guillebeau suggests, right now. I'll have to call it a night and resume tomorrow. I'm taking the liberty of using week one of 2011 to fine tune the planning, since my vacation didn't begin until the year was upon us. I like these three passages from Chris' blog:

You can have anything you want. But everything at the same time. You may have to give up something to achieve something else - so it's better to know what's most important to you in your own version of world domination...

and he quotes Donald Miller writing:

Meaningful lives don't just happen by accident. (Thus I plan). You have to make deliberate decisions at some point. If you know what you value and what you're working towards, it's easier to make those decisions.

and finally:

When we find ourselves stuck in a situation and unable to move forward, something has to change. It is unnecessary and potentially fatal to rely on others to create change for us. Who's responsible for creating change? I am.

These, along with his specific guidelines and examples are really helping me to work on this annual review idea. I am recognizing that without specifics it's easy for me to drift or backpedal.

For tomorrow, I'll still be in Ottawa and our plan is to go to Value Village, then Winner's and Home Sense with my baby sister and mother. It was my idea to start with the Village, so that we can try to get whatever-it-is second hand first. They were agreeable.

Check out this gal's post, who is doing a Nothing New Year in 2011: Life's Many Colors, and used some of my ground rules from last year to draft her own!

Talk soon,
xo Tara

The First Shop

2011-01-02T23:04:00.000-05:00

My first shopping trip was today, January 2nd. Turns out it's pretty hard to find anywhere open on the 1st of January. Despite my carefully planned list, my enthusiasm, and my mom's help, I ended up coming out of it having purchased only a $7.99 scarf.

So much for going bananas at the mall. I did try on about 50 coats. And I narrowed down some favourites. But it turns out I've become a much pickier shopper than I was in the past. I wanted things to be cheaper, yet better made, etc. So, I didn't jump to get anything yet. I do have the whole month to buy things, and if today's shopping is a sign, I may be on a good track for managing to live within my means more easily.

My family here in Ottawa have been very generous too, and some of the great gifts I got included:

a gift card for Indigo (I can use it to get the Moleskine notebooks I wanted),
a gift card for Shoppers (It's great, especially since I've developed an curious resentment towards buying expensive toiletries),
a nice gift basket from bath and body works (see previous point about toiletries),
a pair of shoes my mom has only worn once that are just what I was looking for (sturdy, nice, interesting, and good for walking),
a book called 'How to Change your Entire Life by Doing Absolutely Nothing' featuring 10 Do-Nothing relaxation exercises to calm you down quickly so you can speed forward faster. I'm on # 3: "Mellow Yellow" - When you are ticked off, you spend five minutes focusing on just seeing yellow everywhere. Look around and notice it instead of 'seeing red'. It's a funny take on mindfulness.
Money Sense's Guide to Retiring Wealthy. It will help me with working on our specific financial goals for the year. (Oh man, I really wish I'd let that $1000 in RRSPs from my 20's just sit there and grow...)
Also, lots of other gifts and good times and meals with family.

I've even gotten a long walk in each day. Yesterday was unseasonably warm, around +10 degrees Celsius and today, despite being minus 10 or so, we bundled up and walked as well. And sleep. I'd been burning the candle at both ends the last couple of weeks and since I got to mom's, I've been like a toddler, taking a daily nap and getting 10-12 hours sleep at night. Marvelously decadent!

Today we watched the 'King's Speech' as a family. Such a great, great film. I was so glad it wasn't sold out because mom suggested that if it was, we could all go see 'Black Swan' together. I haven't seen 'Black Swan' yet, but from the hints I hear, I think it might have made for an awkward family outing experience.

Talk soon,

xo Tara

Happy New Year - Mission Accomplished

2011-01-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

About to crack the bubbly with Mom, Scottie, and Tena to put the icing on the cake to 2010. We've all been hanging out and sharing our goals for the next year and it's been really peaceful and plain nice. Just missing my wife, but otherwise, all is well.

Looking forward to a fresh, clean, sparkly New Year full of joy, ease, and light, and a little bit of new stuff.

x to the o

Tara

Yay! I did it! And if I can you do it, YOU can do it...

Counting Down the Last Hours of a Year of No New is Good News

2010-12-31T16:27:00.001-05:00

Hey there,

I'm just counting down the last 8 hours until Midnight, aka New Year's, when I will have achieved my goal of going a full year without buying anything new. This blog, No New Is Good News, has been a really cool way of making sense (and nonsense) of it.

I also am feeling incredibly delighted to have a few days off after working at a breakneck pace the last few working days.

I'm going to spend some time on my four hour train ride to Ottawa indulging in checking out all kinds of New Year, reflective, goal setting, etc. type stuff on line. Then I might veg out for a bit and watch episodes of How I Met Your Mother. I'm not a saint!

I feel a lovely sense of goodwill, accomplishment, and trying to be easy on myself. Looking at some other people's posts and my own lately, I know that sometimes I've been focusing too much on the hard work aspect of things and not enough on having fun and relaxing. But sometimes working on things outside of job-type work is it's own form of nerdy fun.

I just read Christine Bougie's 30th Reverb10 post, and enjoyed all of them. It's a great accomplishment. I jotted down a few writing and reflecting ideas, but have absolved myself from having to do it all today and catch up on 15 days of writing prompts. I don't need to turn the prompts into a stick to beat myself with! I might actually use some of them in groups I am doing in the New Year. I've also just re-read this line from Gretchen Rubin

The days are long, but the years are short.

A good motto to remind ourselves to live life here and now, as we wrap up another year.

I enjoyed my Fake New Year's immensely last night and chatted with a few pals who've been following my progress. It is pretty cool to be able to report positively on it to people I haven't seen in a while. There are certainly lots of things I've not finished that I started, but this ain't gonna be one of them.

More later,

xo Tara

More Face Time; Less Facebookin'

2010-12-30T22:33:00.000-05:00

Hey there,

I'm zooming around trying to pack for tomorrow's trip to Ottawa and get cleaned up to scoot out to Fake New Year's Eve. It is such a great concept, you all should try it.

I'm about to hurl myself into the shower, and head over to Coco's (the host of Fake New Year's) shortly, so I'll definitely make it in time for the Fake Countdown.

I read in one of the ubiquitous articles about New Year's in the last day or two, that someone wanted less facebook and more face time. I like it. Here's to clocking more genuine face time with people you like. I'll add that to tomorrow's final rez-o-lution list.

Talk soon
xo
Tara

An Addition to My Acceptable Exceptions

2010-12-29T20:43:00.000-05:00

I thought of this late yesterday.

I'm going to 'okay' me buying something that a friend or acquaintance has created (i.e.: a book, a CD, a piece of art). I think that goes along with fostering creativity in general. So, rather than have to wait until Jan. 1st to buy a friend's CD, like I did this year, it's in the sanctioned list of expenditures for 2011.

I'm keeping today super short for a few reasons, but one is that it's 8:36pm and I am no where near done the work I need to do before I can exit the building from job number two for the evening.

On a high note, I've got my ticket to Ottawa for Friday, Dec. 31st leaving Toronto at 3:30pm. That will feel great - like sinking into a four hour reading and resting break after a frantic couple and a half days back at work(s).

Looking forward to family time very soon.

xo Tara

P.S.: What are other people's resolutions and plans for New Year's? I'm looking very forward to Fake New Year's tomorrow night. An annual party where you can always get a cab home, and I won't feel like I missed out on friend time by skipping town on Real New Year's.

New Year's Resolutions for 2011

2010-12-28T16:49:00.002-05:00

Wow. 2011 is only days away. Four more sleeps and it will be here. Sitting pretty here at day 362 of 2010 I feel confident I'll make it to my goal of not buying anything new for a year. Today was a bit of a grey area. But, I think, okay. For Christmas my wife got me a gift certificate from Secrets From Your Sister, a boutique where they fit you for the perfect bra. I went today and lined up in the freezing cold for 45 minutes as it was their big boxing day sale. I was number two in line and chatted with the pro ahead of me, who is an old hat at their sales. A good bra, a really good one that fits like a glove, is expensive. So when these girls have their big sale, you might get an amazing bra, that normally costs $150 or more, for as low at $20 or $30. If you are lucky and not too many like-sized gals are in line ahead of you.

She and I were able to be friends, as we were clearly different sizes and would not be competing for the same stash of deeply-discounted lingerie with each other. We critically appraised the degree to which our fellow cue-members would provide sport for us as we watched the line grow and grow. I was able to get myself two gorgeous French bras for less than half price. If I make myself hand wash them, they'll last several years. I cannot wait to go show them off to my sister and friends tonight at games night!

I shopped using a gift certificate given to me for this purpose as a Christmas gift and paid the rest with Christmas money from my mother-in-law. I know it skirts the nothing new rules, but I thought it was okay, since it is something that has to fit, and I got a gift certificate as a surprise, not asked for. What do you think? Also, if you read about my rushed bra purchase on Dec. 31st, 2009 (no time to try on, one didn't fit - was actually painful to wear), you'll know I was getting a bit desperate for new decent ones. Also, sadly, I have to admit to being a larger cup size than I have been historically. So, while not laudable as a reason to shop, I've been pushing it with the current motley collection, and it was time.

I'll tell you this. It was hard to not buy up the whole store.

Which has me thinking about January 2011 a lot, and what I will be buying. I've been feeling a bit overconfident, perhaps, as it approaches. I've been thinking that I don't miss shopping all that much. Noticing that as I work on my list of things I will buy in January, I don't seem to have a ton of 'needs'. But, I am a bit nervous of how easy it is to shop, when once you start.

Anyway, about January, and my resolutions for 2011...

I will be shopping in January (only) for new things. The rest of 2011 will resume with 'nothing new'. Similar exceptions to last year will apply. Health purchases are okay. And I also feel comfortable saying that shoes are okay to buy IF they are running shoes or walking shoes (i.e.: not just fashion). I'm okay with things that get me moving more and are comfortable on my feet. Oh, also, a sun hat. If I cannot find a decent one in January, I will allow myself one in the summer. It is reasonable for me to want to keep the crow's feet and age spots at bay as long as possible. Also, again, I'll allow myself craft and do-it-yourself supplies, within reason, if I can't beg, borrow or make do with what I have.

I will be shopping from a list. I don't plan on doing a free-for-all. Here is the list so far:

1. A black scarf to replace my favourite one that I recently lost. I have lost it a few times and it always came back to me. Not this time, unfortunately. On a side note, I'm lower than usual on woolly scarves due to my obsession with washing and drying everything to keep from bringing bed bugs home. A side effect of this has been that many of my formerly long, fluffy scarves are now two feet shorter, shrunk and felted, and do not provide enough coverage for the January winds. I am specifically looking for a lacy, but knit, non-wool (but wool-like) one (can be bunched as a scarf, or draped as a shawl...)

2. A Coat. You may recall that when winter comes, if I want to be truly warm, you'll generally find me dressed like a mummer. I wrote about this at the beginning of the year in a post (see paragraph two on Value Village Second Thoughts). I want a warm coat that I'm not ashamed to go to a dressy work event in. I want it in a solid colour like black, so it matches any colourful mitts, scarves, and hats I have, and I want it to come down to my knees and fit me well. It can be down filled, or wool. I think I will enjoy shopping for something so specific. My mother is already on the look out for coat selling places for us to go trolling through come January 1st, in Ottawa.

3. Shoes. I want a pair of shoes that are dressy enough for work, solid enough for walking to work, and sturdy and deep enough to fit my orthotics in. Sounds pretty sexy, huh?

4. Giant Ziplocs for storage. I have seen these at my friend Su's. I want giant Ziplocs

5. A Pink Ukulele. I may buy myself a cute ukulele. Cheap, portable and way easier to learn than guitar. I saw Sera's and can't stop thinking about it. We'll see.

6. Notebooks. I am keen to get a couple of new moleskins. I've made my two last all year, but they are running out of pages. I may get a couple of delicious skinny markers to go with them.

7. Pants. I am having trouble finding a good pair of jeans or cords used that really fit me. I will look at options in stores, but I won't buy any unless they are on sale and really fit well and I look good and like them.

8. Socks and underwear. I am heavily into the B-team and C-team collection of socks and underwear at this point in the year.

9. Full length mirror. I've been wanting one for 3 years since we moved from my sister's house. It will help me to be more presentable and fit for public consumption. I think it also helps if you are trying to decide what clothing to keep, alter, or donate.

10. A metal bar with a few hooks for our kitchen wall to hang things like the metal strainer and a couple of pots on etc. from high on the wall. Our condo has the regulation miniature kitchen storage space, so this might make it more manageable for us to keep cupboards tidy and counters clear.

That's my list so far. Kind of humble and boring when you think about it! We really don't need much, do we? I might add to it before the year starts as I put on my thinking cap.

For my other resolutions, I alluded to some in some of the Reverb10 posts. I have gotten way behind on them, but may get the opportunity to catch up on the ride to Ottawa on Friday. Like most people's, they fall generally into the realms of health, organization, money, and creative.

Here they are thus far:

Stop buying diet pop.
Start packing a lunch unless I have a lunch date with a friend.
Practice my mindfulness meditation daily.
Get a physical.
Walk to work 2 or more times per week.
In bed by 11:30pm.
Continue to blog regularly.
Shop only in January (with list) otherwise, Nothing New rules apply.
Work specifically on paying off remaining debt, saving for cottage, and saving for trip to Edinburgh Fringe Festival with my wife. Create a 'business plan' for making that happen.
Keep up with stitch & bitch gatherings, crafting, sewing, and knitting regularly with friends.
Continue to write on novel and creative writing, as well as other forms of 'fun, non-passive leisure'.
A fresh round of Clutter Busting and bring in new year with new, clean energy and cleared space.
Ask someone who is really organized at work about their system for keeping up with documentation.
Semi-retire by giving notice by September 17, 2011 at second job.
Remember my theme word for 2011 from the Reverb10 prompt: 'Release' (versus 2010's word, which was 'Grindstone').

I am looking forward to examining these more and sharing them with some of my favourite women. A few of us are big into the New Year's Resolutions Lists/Fresh Starts. I am thinking especially of Trina, Tena, and Mom. My wife even wrote a joke about it once :)

Talk soon,

xo Tara

Blogiversary Yesterday

2010-12-22T23:55:00.002-05:00

Hey there,
Yesterday (Dec. 22nd) was the one year anniversary of me starting this blog. In 2009 I did 5 Posts (1st Post, 2nd Post, 3rd Post, 4th Post-My Ground Rules, My 5th Post-A Video) in the 9 days leading up to my deadline to stop shopping in 2010. I laid out my ground rules, talked about what made me decide to do it, and even shot a video on my MacBook, showing my Dec. 31st frantic 'last shop' haul. It's kind of funny how paltry of a selection it was, but it was also exciting and nerve-wracking to dive into a year of something different. It was also something new that I learned and stuck to for a year.

The year has been, on the whole, very rewarding. Money wise, and getting comfortable with not being able to lazy-shop, or bored-shop, or therapy-shop. I feel like it set me up on a different path that makes a lot of other goals more achievable. It also has made me feel like I can do something hard and unpopular. However, let me say this: I am looking forward to shopping in January 2011 and am a bit afraid about opening the old floodgates. Will it be like the first time I quit smoking? "Guys, I'm cool. I haven't had one in a year. It's no big deal." Fast forward to the end of the week when I'm lighting one cigarette off the next... It took me 3 more years to get up the steam to quit for good. (That was 11 years ago, so now I feel I've well and truly kicked the habit. BUT I also don't even have the odd drag to tempt me.) Soooo, we'll see how cured of the shopping habit I am.

It's funny how I noticed more when I distanced myself from it, how shopping is seen as a hobby, an art form, a form of recreation, therapy, release, exercise, a reward for hard work etc. I have clients who tell me their only fun is shopping. We need to diversify, clearly.

I've been working hard today sending out invites to the icancanu website. I've been doing it on three fronts. One is that it totally suits the spirit of my No New Is Good News year. Share, do favours, help each other out etc. Two is that it helps my brother-in-laws out (it's their baby) by sharing info about the site, they may be able to develop it more. Three is that I really want to win the prize for the most new friends by Dec. 31st. My least noble but most humanoid reason for exerting such an effort. I did sent out a lot of invites today. Sorry, they aren't all personalized. The site did not offer the option of a message with invite. I couldn't do it all at once to look up address, send an email, then go back to icancanu and send invite - and be as productive as I was. I wish I'd had more time and stamina for it. But I did log a good 3 hours to the cause this evening.

One of my most human failings (my mindfulness and CBT homework is teaching me to embrace these qualities FYI), is a need to be, as my wife calls it, 'An A+ Student'. So it's no surprise that I want to win the prize. Not to worry, in some areas of my life I've been really slack (i.e.: messy office) but I do feel like I'm getting a sense of 'Capable Tara' this year by doing what I set out to do. More or less.

I have 9 days to go on No New for Tara. WOW. That's a lot of days I've completed successfully. Can you imagine if I screwed it up now??! Some of my money goals were NOT perfect, but I am so much better off than the year before. I sometimes kick myself for not saving all my Canada Savings Bonds this year (that would have amounted to $7800). Instead, I had to use some for various things that I couldn't pay for. BUT I avoided adding new debt, and still managed to end the year with $3100 in Canada Savings Bonds NOT cashed in. I have also added almost $15,000 to RRSPs this year.

As I've mentioned before, I've also paid off: 1. about $7000 in student loans, and 2. about $5000 in other consumer debt (store cards, credit cards, and loan).

We are far from resolved with it all. But we've also, as a household, reduced our monthly bills-payable by cutting a big chunk from Rogers by cutting cable, land line, and Internet in favour of one cheaper provider - making our lifestyle more manageable and sustainable and getting me closer to that one job dream :)

I've got to wrap this up and hit the sack soon. It's Christmas and if there's a sad cliche, it is that in mental health our line of business does not get slower over the holidays. I need to be on full alert tomorrow and have a jam packed day.

I'm looking forward to time for cruising around to check out other blogs, help my sister edit the 6th draft of her awesome novel, and to hanging with my wife, family and friends, over the next few days.

But make no mistake, I'm also really, really looking forward to shopping in Jan. 2011 - with my list of things I need! I guess that is the difference between a year ago and today. I'm not just going to go bananas (hopefully). I'm going to be working from a list in January. And after that, I'll be about the same as this year...

xoxo Tara

Reading and Running

2010-12-18T22:49:00.000-05:00

Heya,
this is a quickie post as I'm running for the door to meet up with my wife and neighbours for a foreign film and I need to find my glasses and grab snacks. I realize I've yet to do Reverb10's prompts for Dec. 17 and 18, but I've decided that is what Dec. 19th is for!

Today I did some puttering, bought a few gifts made from used bits (i.e.: artist making something out of recycled material) and I am rereading a book I got about 9 years ago that I barely noted at the time, but despite being dated in 1992 is seriously ringing some bells for me now. It's called 'Your Money or Your Life' by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin and it suits my quest now to 'transform my relationship with money and achieve financial independence'.

I'll get back to you later with details. Socializing awaits...

xo Tara

Reverb 10 Catch Up - Take Two

2010-12-16T23:26:00.000-05:00

I'm back at it, catching up on my goal of doing these writing exercises using the motto, "Better late than never'. For more details about it check out Reverb 10.

I'm just catching my breath as I've spent a very active 3 hours with a 4-year-old boy and his 7-year-old brother. I'm playing babysitter tonight. We ate dinner, caught up on all the news from school, played Snakes and Ladders, played Tumbling Monkeys, played jump on Tara's head for a while, played paper airplanes, and played 'admire my drawing', and 'can you tell what it is'? (My 7-year-old pal's drawing are a little easier to decipher). We also read two rather long stories, did jammies, and I had the pleasure of helping the 4-year-old clean up after two massive bowel movements, which occurred moments after his momma left. It was pretty funny, as he is quite independent, but would call out to me to let me know how it was going, and when I was needed in the loo as clean up crew. Ah, the joys of parenting.

Being with kids is a perfect opportunity to be fully in the present moment. I got on the floor, got in the game, and really enjoyed hanging out with them. But now, it is also quite nice to relax. You realize how full on parenting must be when you are never alone and there is never silence while your kids are awake. I don't know how people can do it and work. I guess I have to take my hat off to the vast majority of the human population :) They're down for the count and I'm here until at least midnight so let's catch up, shall we?

Okay, on with the prompts:

"December 11 – 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)."

Oh my, let's see... 1. I do not need diet pop. I took it back up (moderately) after starting my new job. 2. I do not need to buy junky food because I was too lazy to pack my lunch. 3. I don't need to feel crappy about things. 4. I don't need to 'never' shop again, but I do need to pay attention and set my 2011 ground rules. 5. I don't need to stay up so late. 7. I don't need to ignore my own health. 8. I don't need to work quite so hard or much. 9. I don't need to be so disorganized. 10. I don't need to feel like I don't belong. 11. I don't need to be so busy.

How will I go about eliminating these things?

I will stop buying diet pop, which will make it much harder to drink it.
I will start packing my lunch every day, unless I have a lunch date with friends.
I will use my burgeoning mindfulness skills to go a bit easier on myself and not try to fix, change, and solve everything, and to be more comfortable with grey areas.
I will shop in 2011 - in January only, and with a list I am working on completing - stay tuned for breaking details as they evolve! The rest of the year I am not buying new things, with the exceptions that I will list in my up and coming 'ground rules' for 2011.
I will be using my brother-in-law's new favour exchange network to work on sharing favours with the people in my life. It's a great way to build community, connect, and be less wasteful. It's called IcancanU. You can click on that link if you want to see more. If you decide to join and want to join my group, "Tara's Toronto Area Friends", let me know. Some favours are easiest to do locally! But sometimes favours can happen 'electronically' so don't be shy to befriend me, even if you are not in Toronto. I think their idea of us all 'getting a little help from our friends' is very well suited to the spirit of this blog and my goals and projects for this year and the next. I'll write more about IcancanU in the future.
I will assign myself a bedtime of 11:00pm. Ha! Let's make it 11:30pm.
I will get a physical, walk to work more than once a week, and eat my fruits and veggies.
I will semi-retire in the fall of 2011, by going down to one job. My 'retirement' goal is my 7 year anniversary date, September 17, 2011.
I will find some chilling time at home, not just where I have to be doing chores, etc.
I will do a fresh round of Clutter Busting (see the man who wrote the book on it). In fact, I may just re-read that book to inspire me. This might be a good fit with New Year's out with the old, clean sweep, smudging etc, etc. Get the old chi flowing through our space.
I will work on a better system of keeping up with documentation, tasks, messages at work. I'll ask the most organized people I know how they do it.
I will remind myself that I have earned the right to belong in the various settings I find myself and that I am just as okay as the next person. This is only something I'll need to do during those average human moments of self doubt and questioning, not on a minute-by-minute basis.
I'll keep my blog in 2011. It's been a great tool to share, reflect, gather my thoughts, have fun, and check out other people's ideas too.

worky things will help me use my network and community more. To mix and mingle and socialize more. To gather together more in various ways.

Okay, onwards to....

"December 12 – Body Integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)"

Well, this is a bit of a toughie. Mindfulness is helping me remember I even have a body. Much of the time I ignore it except for when it rears its ugly head in some kind of protest. I think that an integration moment occurred when I was doing the 60K walk for women's cancers. BEFORE the real pain kicked in, maybe a couple of hours in, from hour 2 to hour 5 or so. There had been enough walking to get a rhythm and cadence going. Flow was being experienced. Interesting conversations were happening as my body was doing this lovely, strong, repetitive movement that is walking. It felt very good to be alive and moving and using all my parts.

Onwards to...

"December 13 – Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)"

Some of my action steps, I've listed above with the bullet points for how I will eliminate things I don't need. Some of my action steps I've discussed in previous posts - when I think about paying down debt and engaging in 'non-passive leisure'. It's not much of an action step to veg out in front of the TV, but some of the other leisure things I love can feel like work to get organized. I know that I end up feeling energized when I push myself to do them, but getting there is the hard part. You all know the drill - it's the end of a long day. Should I go for a long walk and cook a healthy meal, or eat chips out of the bag while watching 7 episodes of Dexter? I am committed to being at least as active as I am inactive, and to not depleting myself so much at work(s) that my own life doesn't have the steam for action. I've already plotted out some money goals for coming months including pedestrian ones like paying down debt, and keeping a roof over our heads, as well as fun ones like helping my wife fund raise to perform in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2011 and saving for my cottage in Newfoundland.

Onwards to...

"December 14 – Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)"

Well, that is hard to narrow down to one thing. I'll brainstorm here:

The 41 years I got with 3 grandparents. I miss my Grandfather saying "God Bless you" every time we spoke. I really don't hear it much in my life anymore, and it was such a sweet greeting and farewell when we spoke or met.
Being stronger than I expected myself to be.
Having made a big change in my working life and having it pay off in terms of me learning a lot, and liking it a lot. I was quite nervous about this one year experiment of changing jobs. While the pace is a bit much, I feel like I am more or less rising to the occasion and that I hit the ground running. Thought you might like a couple of nice cliches to help you visualize how it's been going for me at the new job.
My opportunity to study and practice mindfulness at work. To be a learner and participant has been so helpful in my personal and work life. I am very appreciative of that, and my friend Anya, who is teaching me.
That I am well loved. That is very lucky.
That I can get enthusiastic about things and nerd out on things is a good sign.
And of course, I appreciate that there are people who are actually joining me to check all this stuff out about this year (and as it draws to an end, it's not just about this year, life keeps on going beyond Dec. 31st) and beyond.

Onwards to...

"December 15 – 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)"

I think I'm going to steal a page from Christine and do it with photos. But I'm out of the house babysitting, so I can't really do this one now. I'm going to cheat it a little and put a pin in this one. I'll set the timer at home, where I can access my real photos and do it justice. I'll time travel back to this moment asap in another post. Shhhh. Don't tell...

So onwards to...

"December 16 – Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)"

I have lots of friends. Sounds like I'm bragging. But what I'm trying to say is, that picking one feels like trying to select a maid of honour, or something. That would be my twin. And my most essential friend, she is certainly. But, I'm going to select a newer friend for this writing prompt. My friend, Shannon. She is an artist and by treating me like her equal brought me a lot of confidence and pleasure. We are colleagues and friends and can enjoy things like creative writing, as well as leading groups together. She and I have many differences, yet see eye to eye in so many ways. I think just having a new friend who seeks my counsel, wants genuinely to hear what's going on with me, and actually makes art specifically as a present for me has made me feel appreciated and important and interesting in a novel way. At this age, it sounds silly, but you don't bond the same way with the same quantity of people as you get older. You get pickier, too busy, and too lazy and too set in your ways. Going beyond those limitations demonstrates that there is always something new to be discovered and enjoyed in life and in friendship.

I've learned things from other friends too. Like Anne, who is retiring due to health issues and has taught me that life is shorter than we know and that people have many facets. She also taught me something about attitude. She said, 'I used to always be so angry. But I'm not so much anymore.' My friend Renee taught me about how good it feels to be around someone who is positive, supportive, and does not complain, criticize, or gossip. I fall woefully short on these goals regularly. (I keep having to rotate that bloody 'complaint free world' bracelet, but I'm still wearing it). Being around Renee also reminded me how rare those qualities are in a person, and how while I may never achieve full 'fidelity to the model', they are worth setting my sights for. My twin friendship teaches me that having a best friend means never being bored of some one's company and being able to enjoy the simple things with ease.

I feel like I've blogged me arse off tonight. Pardon the colourful language, but hopefully, I've caught up on most of what needed catching. I'll look forward to continuing to count down and wrap up this year.

xo
Tara

Absentee Landlord of My Own Blog

2010-12-15T21:41:00.000-05:00

This last four days I've been away, and I apologize for being tardy with this post. In my defense I have several weak excuses.

I was very caught up in finishing my first ever e book (The Lost Symbol). Catchy, but the final 20 minutes dragged a bit. Don't tell Dan Brown.

I was very busy watching episodes of Breaking Bad. A show so good I want to take a bite out of it.

I got very intimidated by the prompt for #Reverb10 on December 11th which is:

11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

I feel a need to sit and ponder a bit on this one, and that kept me from doing it, and from even looking at the prompts beyond up to today.

Soooo,

Since I really am into the idea of wrapping up 2010 with lots of thinking and reflection and plotting out 2011 with exciting twists and turns as well as lots of calm balanced joy, ease, and light, I will do another Reverb10 catch up tomorrow night. I am babysitting for my friends and between the hours of bedtime for the kiddies and midnight or so, I should have some nice 'me time' on their computer, so I look forward to catching up and thinking about 2010 and 2011, and what it all means for my No New is Good News stuff, at my leisure.

Off to watch 'True Grit' with my wife. I've heard it's amazing.

xo Tara

Wise Idea

2010-12-10T12:57:00.000-05:00

Today's post is on the theme suggested by Reverb10 for December 10th prompt:

"Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?"

Today's is quick and easy. I'm pretty sure my wisest decision of the year has been deciding not to buy anything new and sticking with it. It has not always been an easy or popular choice, but it has yielded many personal benefits.

I've been able to gain confidence in my ability to stick with something.
I've felt a little kinder to the environment.
I've saved money for the future.
I've paid down debt at a faster rate than before.
I've gotten better at do-it-myselfing.
I've become a little better at postponing gratification and entertaining myself.

Don't worry. I'm all too human, so there are plenty of unwise things I've done this year too, but fortunately No New is Good News is not one of them.

xo Tara

Reverb10 Dec. 9th Party Prompt

2010-12-09T23:53:00.000-05:00

December 9th Prompt: Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

This one has actually had me scratching my head. It makes me realize that I need to seriously work on ramping up the fun in my life. 2010 has been a bit of a toughie and I need to bring the party to 2011.

When I put on my thinking cap, I know there have been some good times in 2010. My friend Christine, brilliantly captured one (almost 2010) with Fake New Year's. This annual party at our friend CoCo's is amazing. But, not quite technically 2010, since we have it on Dec. 30th so everyone can easily get a cab and just relax on real New Year's Eve...

Fake New Year's Memento

Here are some other highlights:

Jan. Robbie Burns Day at Rick and Su's snapshot here

Feb. Joanna Downey's Dance Party birthday after a stand up comedy show evidence ici

Mar. Olympics Gold Medal Curling Party in the VIP section at Hockey House see it here & here

June. Proud Larry's show and night out during Pride

July. Come Home Year Parade with our family banner in Norris Point, Newfoundland pic here

Aug. Huron Heights Cheerleader Reunion photo here

Sept. Girls Night in at Mom's Momma deets

Oct. Stitch & Bitch at my place. Raucous late night party no photo but a wee blurb

It's a good reminder to pay attention to booking some more fun and to work on letting loose, already. Not to worry. Where 2010 was all about 'Grindstone', 2011 is all about 'Release' if you remember.

Also, while I think of this year as full of many sorrows, I need only to look a little closer to see many moments of fun and joy. What we pay attention to grows.

Tara

Community & Beautifully Different

2010-12-08T23:44:00.001-05:00

Hiya,

I'm again catching up on posts/prompts but this time for a very altruistic reason. My twin is in marking and report card hell, and I decided to offer her the gift of my time (since I can't buy her anything). She took me up on my offer last night and I marked until 2 am. I feel a sincere pang for her and teachers everywhere right now. What a lot of her own time is spent on school stuff. This year her one job is putting my two to shame when it comes to hours logged. Ugh.

A nice thing about helping someone else out in a pinch is that it reminds me of how lucky I am and how good I have it. But don't worry. I'm human. I'm still complaining regularly enough that my poor purple "Complaint Free World.org" bracelet Momma got me in September has been having more or less zero units of success. I still probably complain/gossip/criticize once or more on an average day. But on the bright side, how much more would it be without my purple, rubber reminder?

I'm going to get on with my Reverb10 writing prompts since they are a fun way to reflect on my year. I'll also be doing some of my own stuff in December to figure out 2011 plans and wrap 2010 up in a nice red bow.

December 7th Prompt: Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I've discovered community in a lot of places this year. In some ways I can get into my own solitary working drone groove, but these are the communities I have connected with this year that have been interesting, revitalizing, liberating, healing or fun (if I think of more later, I'll pop back in to add them):

My clan/family. Being from Newfoundland IS different and is bonding. Like Kyran Pittman says, it's Utterly Unlike anywhere else. We've bonded over losses and also just hanging out together. I've gotten a little closer to some siblings and cousins and parents and steps and greats, etc. in different ways.
My wife's family. Being married makes you even more seriously connected to people you already love.
Our queer & comedy communities. I even tried out a comedy class one-off recently.
My old work pals. In fact, moving on from working directly with people has made me do more 'friend outreach' and forge more connection in other areas with some important former coworkers. Shannon, Anne, and Mark are all very different examples of this loveliness.
My new work pals. Of course I want them to like me, and I'm trying hard, and I really like them, so it seems to be going okay.
My part time work pals. In fact, the definition of this job is 'community development', but still, I feel like they are there for me and we have each other's backs in a nice way.
My online pals, including the ones I follow, & the ones who pop by this blog to check it out. I've really enjoyed reading things that are 'up my alley' immensely this year. It's as if a whole new world opened up to me recently, and I am grateful for the sense of fun, pleasure, and camaraderie it's provided. It has also given me a sense of myself as a doer, & a creator, not just a consumer.
My end cancer walk women. We definitely created and built a sense of community doing that 60K walk.
My IWD fellow volunteers. I do an event annually for about 300 homeless women for International Women's Day, and this has become a big repeated and increasingly positive opportunity to build community.
My book club. I want to be MORE involved in this community. I've been a 'lazy/lax' member, but still love being involved, albeit marginally.
My Stitch & Bitchers! Big time this group of tattooed, smart, funny, crafters has brought a much needed sense of community, creativity, and meaningful occupation into my life.
The people in my mindfulness class. A strange brew of different types, but coming together for this common goal. I like it.

So 2011: More: book club, more creative community (sewing, knitting, writing), maybe venturing into something physical like yoga etc. I'll put more thought into it. Oh, also, the conscious consumption group, related to this year's goal of nothing new.

December 8th Prompt: Prompt: Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.

I often get to discuss in my working day how hard it is to sell ourselves. Describing what makes ourselves beautiful is akin to writing a resume or answering one of those cringe-worthy questions in a job interview. But, it might be easier if I think 'different' and 'light people up'. I would have to say that some of these things (like me!) are works in progress, but here goes:

I am a bit unique. I look a little different from other people. Not sure what I mean by that, but I feel it.
This is a funny one, but I have giant, sometimes fabulous, always noticeable, eyebrows. I mention them because they have often been used as a descriptor for me.
I am calm and a good listener.
I express empathy and I try hard to be present.
I support local comedy.
I keep trying to improve myself but hopefully not in an arrogant way.
I can occasionally give myself (time, focus, effort) to people I care about to help them through something tough.
I'm a moderate nerd. Read: 'enthusiastic hobbiest'
I keep slogging away at it.
I'm fairly optimistic.
I can make a meal out of thin air.
I like to do well. My wife calls me an 'A student'. She also calls me 'Wonderwall'.
I listen well and try to make people feel safe.
I do not stigmatize against people who have had mental illness.
I'm a minor activist.
My sense of self is relatively solid.
I like to try new things.
I'm trying hard to grow and be more creative.
My friend Tyler once described me as 'Full on'.
My friend Shannon said that I brought my humanity to my interactions with people and that I work 'with them not on them'.

Okay, that's about all I have in me tonight. Hope it's sufficient for the goal.

xo Tara

Reverb10 - Catch Up

2010-12-06T17:15:00.001-05:00

Oh yes, another challenge. I seem to need them to keep me moving in a certain direction. I even like them. But, having said that, I'm being kind to myself about my ability to do 'anything, not everything.'

I'm a little late to the game, but have been peripherally doing the Reverb10 challenge since December 1st - some on my blog and some just with my sister, or reading Christine or Tena's postings. I decided to just do it myself, not just wish I was doing it.

The Reverb10 group have a set of brief writing prompts to help us reflect on 2010 and manifest what we'd like out of 2011. Seems highly appropriate for me, since I've been trying to accomplish things, grow, and figure out what I want from next year and make sense what I can and can't control etc. Also, I like writing prompts. It's a bit like improvising without having to move around the room or speak aloud.

I'll do a fast catch up today, and can use reverb10s prompts to flesh out No New For Tara/No New is Good News as we head into the final 25 days of nothing new for a year.

Dec. 1st: The prompt was: "December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)"

I already did this in One Word to Rule them All. My 2010 word was "Grindstone". 2011 was "Release".

Dec. 2nd: The prompt was: "December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)"

This is a toughie. I often feel like I'm over scheduled and have a hard time squeezing in writing. Having said that, I've blogged 223 posts (including this one) this calendar year, so I must be doing something right. The things that get in the way include procrastinating, getting overly tired, or letting the day get away from me with errands and chores. I'm not sure what specific things I can give up, but maybe by scheduling in writing time I can make sure it happens. Especially on weekends, making it earlier than later? Chores can wait, this pleasure should take a front seat.

Dec. 3rd: "The prompt was: December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)"

We did this verbally at Stitch & Bitch on Friday at my sister's house. The moment I picked was a time I actually blogged about in January under the title Buying Experiences. It was a hike I took on a magical day in Newfoundland when I still had 3 grandparents. My father, aunt, and uncle were with me. There was snow on the ground, but the water was 'flat calm' and the air still and mellow enough to dress quite lightly. We climbed Burnt Hill and I felt vividly alive. I can smell that day. Salt air, crispy crunchy twigs and things underfoot, moose poo to frozen to be a hazard, a view like a black and white panoramic photo. Dark and gorgeous. Unspoiled snow. And being silly with my family outdoors. Dad took his new camera and a million photos and ran up and down the hill with the energy of an adolescent. Enthusiasm to burn. It really was such a great day.

Dec. 4th: The prompt was: "December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)"

Hmmm. Doing the End Cancer Walk, had many moments of wonder, for sure. Being a part of something bigger than yourself, seeing the kindness of strangers, pushing through pain as a team. Also, letting my one-year-old cousin brush my hair. It's really a very wonderful (though not very hair-tidying) experience. You get on the floor with her, she takes this impossibly soft brush in her fist and brings it to your hair. She stops occasionally to rub cheeks with you and concentrate vigorously on her important task. But, you might also get her to giggle if you tickle her a bit. I think that I could probably use a bit more wonder in my life and will keep my eyes peeled...

Dec. 5th: The prompt was: "December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)"

Well, I may have touched on this in my post on Why Am I Rolling This Big Rock, Again? I think what I am working to let go of is my incessant needs to: fix things, be right, and change stuff. That doesn't mean I don't have goals on making things better though. A bit confusing, but it is making me happier to not resist and fight everything with a need to fix/change/improve etc. I also had to let go of some things I did not want to this past year, like two beloved grandparents, and some important people I worked with. The most death I've experienced yet in a year. Finally, I let go of my secure-safe-haven job and tried something new this year (only for a year, so not super risky, but still...)

Dec. 6th (Today): The prompt was: "December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)"

So, we are at today's prompt. What was the last thing I made. I made one slipper and am half way through its mate. The materials used: one pattern from Nanny Stuckless, her green knitting needles, and two balls of donated yarn. The original pair I made with her personal tutelage you can see here. I'm making pairs for her daughters, since this will be their (and my) first Christmas without her. We will certainly all be missing both my grandparents a lot this Christmas, and if there is one thing they loved (and that fits a theme of not buying new stuff) it was to see us do something with our hands, like knit. I happen to know my grandfather and grandmother were both much more impressed by the homely dishcloths I knit than they were by my two degrees. And they kind of have a point.

Okay folks, time to hit the road for job number two.

xo Tara

Why Am I Rolling the Rock, Again?

2010-12-05T23:11:00.000-05:00

I had this dude sitting near me on the bus spark up a conversation. It was more of a monologue to be honest, because I really couldn't get a word in edgewise. But it ended up being kind of interesting and thankfully relatively brief.

He saw me reading a book for this mindfulness course I am taking. Its title is a bit heavy - "The Mindful Way Out of Depression". Just an FYI: I'm not depressed, nor do I plan to become so, if I can avoid it. But everyday people can also become less negative, more happy, and enjoy more 'quiet mind' time with the help of using mindfulness.

Anyway, he saw my book and started with, "I couldn't help but notice the book you're reading..." and then he was off to the races. He talked pretty fast, and at times I couldn't keep up too well, or catch everything he said. He told me he was on his way to a daily rehab program. He said he was thankful he was going even though he knew from previous AA type groups "only about 3% of people successfully quit". He talked about how it takes "everything" and then waxed eloquent about Nietzsche and other philosophies.

He then said, "But I think ultimately the soul and spirituality are the key". I just nodded. There was no time or need for me to fill in my half of the conversation. And then he explained further ending with, "Otherwise, it's like we're all just pushing these giant rocks up to the top of the hill, and for what? What are we working so hard for? What are we suffering so much for? To watch the rock roll down the other side?"

I think this links nicely with my words for 2010 (Grindstone) and 2011 (Release). I am looking to release my big rock from this year and let her roll. I am definitely looking for a smaller one to push up the hill in 2011. I may be a Work in Progress, but I don't want to think of myself as a 'Make Work Project'.

Nighty Night,
xo Tara

One Word To Rule Them All

2010-12-03T00:26:00.000-05:00

I've read on my twin's blog and also on Bougie's blog about Reverb10. Basically the goal for December, is to reflect on 2010 and write a word - a single word, mind you, that sums it up. And then, step two is to write a single word that will help manifest what you want from 2011.

I've been thinking lightly about this, but not really gotten into it. And I am so loving their words I feel like I need a word vacuum to come and take their choices away from my memory so I can think my own without being overly influenced by theirs. I think that for today's entry, I'll put on my thinking cap and give 'er a shot.

My 'thinking cap' by the way, is the giant slouchy hat I made my wife as a gift that was as big as a toilet seat cover, if you recall. I've been whittling away at it by making seams and doing various tricks, but to no avail. Now it is not only big, it is also pretty pouffy-frouffy too. She will definitely never wear it. But I like to think of it as big enough to let my brain expand to supersonic size, so I've adopted it as my thinking cap. Perhaps it will always be evolving. Like me? And maybe, it can only get better looking? The only way is up? I'm struggling for a great homemade slouchy hat metaphor to make it all okay. I'll get back to you after tomorrow's Stitch and Bitch.

For 2010:
Themes of loss and death, backbreaking work, giving up bad habits, trying a bit of everything - fun and creative too, and taking on some major change, come to mind off the top of my head.

What word to capture all that?

Grindstone.

For 2011:
I am thinking of both my twin and Bougie's words as inspiring to shoot for. They were: 'beginnings', and 'sharpen', respectively.
For me, I want to manifest simplicity, understanding, ease, and paring down. I like the words 'elucidate', 'clarity', and 'fruition'. In fact, I'm also keen on 'abdicate', 'relinquish', and 'surrender'. I'm trying to say I see myself continuing to let go of the things and notions that hold me back while continuing to grow in terms of joy, ease, and light. Not much to ask for, eh?

In a word:

Release.

Good night. It's past a respectable bed time, so I'd better skedaddle.

xo Tara

Scorecard - No Spend Week & Art Month

2010-12-01T23:36:00.000-05:00

Not that this is all about keeping score, but I figured you might like some accountability. I can report with some satisfaction the following:

Today marks 11 months of not buying anything new!
FYI: I will be doing a shopping Amnesty in January 2011, and then will resume nothing new for the rest of 2011. It will help me get to many of my goals faster... Stay tuned for that one.
I successfully finished No Spend Week. Today when I was 'allowed' to spend again, Ironically, I had barely any money :)
I made Art (for Art Every Day Month) 28 out of 30 days in November. Since I've been really forcing myself to do all my Mindfulness course homework the last couple of days, something had to give, and unfortunately, it was Art. Not to worry, Art, I'll be back for more soon.

I'll check in soon with more thrilling details of life as we know it here in No New is Good News, but I'd like to hear from my fellow participants. Please check in and give us a report on how it went. (If you delayed your start, let us know when you'll be done), or share a link where we can check out how it went.

Re: No Spend Week: For me, my wife made a big difference, being generous for a couple of outings, and also, I got to eat out at family and friends'. I do feel I gained something from this week, besides not wasting money I didn't have, and paying my bills on time. I broke the habit of nickel and diming myself to death with a coffee here, a cafeteria lunch there. Since I've been so rushed with New Job, I've been a bit of a slacker with the packed lunches etc. This week of Not Spending A Cent got me right into the groove of making my black coffees in my office with a kettle, packing a sandwich, eating some veg and fruit and nuts for snacks, etc. Healthier and obviously better for our goals of getting out of debt. Speaking of that, I must go back to visit Man Vs. Debt's blog to get inspired. It's been a while.

Talk soon,

xo Tara

Day Six - A Midday Report

2010-11-29T15:03:00.000-05:00

Day six is proving relatively uneventful, but not in a bad way. I brought a coffee and lunch with me, so I'm keeping starvation at bay. I've made myself 2 cups of herbal tea at my desk and am working away on my pile of worky, work, work.

I started the day nicely with a mindfulness class. I am hoping that it will become increasingly useful and natural for me to use mindfulness. I would enjoy, for example, being about to routinely do the dishes mindfully rather than full of anger and resentment at the universe for such a drag of a task. In fact, it's all about what's in your head as you do dishes. So, wish me luck with my next batch. If I can just keep my mind on the dishes not the unfairness of doing dishes, it'll all be fine.

As far as No Spend Week goes, my main issue is that I am scraping the bottom of the barrel with my lip balms. I'm desperate to get a new one. I have about 3 used up tubes and I'm literally scraping up a bit of balm with a paper clip and putting it on my mouth. I've had an addiction to lip balm since I was about 19 years old. It's not going anywhere, so I need to plan better. Last night I couldn't find my tube and I was forced to use dabs of olive oil. It's a sickness. On Wednesday I will be shopping for lip balm, spare lip balm, and back up to the spare lip balm. (Incidentally, those were the three items I said I'd want on a deserted island).

Back to work,

xo Tara

Day Five - No Spend Week

2010-11-28T21:09:00.000-05:00

The sun has set on day five. This was another day where my wife made my life easier. I slept in, and she woke me with coffee and asked if she could treat me to a movie. We went to see Harry Potter. It was fun, but hard to end it in the middle of the book! Does anyone know when the final film is coming out?

I'm doing creative cooking this evening; experimenting with the ingredients I have on hand and a couple of ideas my dad gave me on the phone. I also have been working on some of my mindfulness homework, like trying to really be present for the experience of doing dishes or something mundane like that. It was my stepmother's birthday today and I'm working on making her gift, which will come late along with her Christmas gift, which will hopefully come on time.

Last night was a very fun evening, and I'm considering my art form playing word games. It did involve being creative, so hopefully that works for you. Only two days to go until spending is once against sanctioned, whether or not it's affordable is another story :)

xo
Tara

Day Four No Spend Week

2010-11-27T17:04:00.002-05:00

Today is the hardest day so far. My wife and I are going to visit with a new girl couple for the first time tonight at their place for a game's night. Since I don't know them well, I wish I could splash out and just buy stuff to bring. Instead, I am having to cobble together snacks from what we have here (wish I hadn't already opened that brick of cheese, etc.), and figure out what to do about drinks. Damn! I should have picked up a bottle of wine or two for just such emergency social situations.

I think it will be fine and fun, and hopefully we will end up with some new pals to hang out with. I think my wife is going to use the money I gave her when I turned my pockets inside out and gave her the contents - so I wouldn't be tempted to spend this week - to buy a couple of drinks to bring along. She's not doing the challenge. So, it's a bit of a cheat, but feels better than going to their place quite so empty handed as I might dare to with old friends.

In other news, I spent today organizing for an annual event for homeless women I am involved in for International Women's Day. We were sorting our donations thus far to see how it's coming (the event is in March) and to separate out some of the inappropriate ones. Sometimes donations are 'used' which we don't like for this party. We want to only give the women new presents, so we divert used things, or things homeless women probably don't need at the shelter (like wine racks etc.) and also things with overt Christmas packaging, we send on to other agencies to use for Christmas parties. As always, we end up coming home with a few cool things ourselves. I got a sweet vintage clutch purse that one of our volunteers brought in and handed off to me personally - I think I'll dress like a girl tonight and bring it! I also got a yellow Sony Walkman cassette player. I'm very delighted with this, having just read how they finally killed the Walkman. I sure hope it works. I am looking forward to walking down the street or riding the subway while rocking my Walkman.

Art for today: I haven't decided. I'll have to let you know tomorrow. It will either be more knitting, or else some writing.

xo Tara

Day Three of No Spend Week

2010-11-26T15:50:00.000-05:00

We are struggling a little with some clarification issues for our week of not spending. We did not proactively address the thorny issue of spending in the workplace/volunteer place. In retrospect, I could have thought this through more beforehand. But let's say that, when unavoidable, spending on a direct work function with money from work is not cheating. And volunteering is really just unpaid work (so it should be included in a broader definition of work).

But it does not sanction the stuff we spend at work just to make it through the day like buying fancy coffees, chocolate bars, cabs because we slept in, or new shoes etc.

Hope that makes sense to everyone.

Today I got off lucky with a friend making me a delicious free lunch. Tonight I'm looking forward to my brother-in-law making me American Thanksgiving Dinner. To both events I arrive empty-handed but, I like to think, full-hearted. And oh so thankful for the kindness of others.

xo Tara

Day 26 of Art Every Day month will be more slipper knitting :)

No Spend Week - Day Two

2010-11-25T22:32:00.001-05:00

Well, today was tough and easy in different ways.

It started with my wife looking at me with alarm and commenting how tired I looked. It was true, I'd had almost 10 hours sleep but still looked like I'd flown in on the red eye from really far away. Not sick still, but just not fully well yet. It was also one of those days that gets slightly high jacked out from under you, where you are running from thing to thing. And someone else keeps adding to your to-do list. Every time you get a chance to have a glance, it's grown. A bit like those nightmares I used to have working at the Keg restaurant. I'd go back to my section after picking up some one's coffee, and bizarrely my section now stretched into the horizon, with no end in sight. All the tables suddenly full of angry people banging their forks and knives and yelling for service. Such an unrestful dream to wake from. We called them Keg-mares.

But actually, today wasn't quite that bad, only that it felt so very full. And any time I thought I had a breather, someone had snuck another major thing into my schedule. But while the day was busy, it was also really interesting and parts of it were even fun.

I got to take a cab today using a work taxi chit, so I got the luxury without the spending. And since I was racing from work thing to work thing, my conscience is clean.

I do have a grey area work situation to relate from today though, spending wise. At my part time job an event was planned where my coworker and I would take some tenants out for soup and tea this evening. Our usual cooking group was not happening, so it was a kind of healthy, free meal late in the month for our low income folks. My coworker (who does this job full time) hauled out her company MasterCard to pay. (I only do the job part time so I don't get a MasterCard - I just have to submit receipts.) It turns out the diner did not accept it. She had no cash, so I had to put the soups on my debit card. I don't like that it happened, but I am choosing to view it as a technicality. I will submit the receipt to work and get reimbursed. So if I want to get really nit picky, I would say I was spending work's money, just in advance.

Feel free to throw rotten tomatoes at me if you disagree!

And, I got to end my day with Art! I'm calling it art, but in a court of law it might not hold up. You can decide: I sang karaoke - several songs - and I'm not known for my singing skills. So, it was brave, creative (?), and a bit against the grain. But I got encore requests from the generous audience, so it was easier than it could have been.

I'm off to unwind before Friday.

xo Tara

Not Spending, Day One

2010-11-24T17:51:00.000-05:00

Yee Haw! I still have loads of provisions and fizzy water, so aside from feeling sick like a dog with flu, I'm still riding high on a wave of optimism for No Spend Week. Thanks for joining in, ladies. Please report back on how it's going with y'all.

That was my glass half full side talking. My glass half empty side would have loved to take a cab today, between my aching guts and my four overflowing bags 'o stuff I dragged into work with me. It would also like to take a cab back home again, but I'm not listening to my half empty side just now.

No money to spend makes it easier to not spend this week, and also means more time to devote to art every day month. Yet another benefit.

So, I'm cutting out because I need to take it easy and recuperate.

For Art: I'll be doing some brainstorming for a bit of my sister's novel as art tonight. Kind of like 'guest hosting' in her writing.

Oh! I had a really nice gift today. A bit box arrived and I thought it was a delivery of flip chart paper. It turned out it was a very cool painting from my work wife (who I left in September when I started my new gig), Shannon. It is a big 3D black heart, cleaved in two, and sewn up with red laces. It is on a purple backdrop and has the caption, 'You broke my heart'. I showed it to all my new coworkers to let them know how popular and missed I am at my old job so they will think I'm cool. It's pretty awesome. I miss having a work wife, but these guys are very nice to me. Too bad I don't have a camera at work.

xo Tara

No Spend Week Is Here at Midnight!!!

2010-11-23T23:31:00.002-05:00

Guys,

Between making Art Every Day, having a 2 year wedding anniversary, and working two jobs, I can safely say that it took a Herculean effort today to get ready for No Spend Week which starts tomorrow - as in midnight. I got home from a busy outing with job number two, grabbed my granny cart (that my own mother refuses to be seen with) and hustled out to No Frills to get groceries and some Lubriderm for my wife's new tattoo. I also squeezed into the liquor store just before closing to grab a bottle. We have two parties to go to this weekend. We may need to ration it out in wine skins. Anyway, I am safely back home, knackered and still have to do some prep for work at main job tomorrow. I am starting a new group, and am a bit nervous about it, plus my days at New Job (a.k.a. main job) are seriously busy so prep time is limited there.

Let me introduce you to my fearless and noble comrades in this journey:

1. Tena, my twin, who will likely find this challenge very challenging. No offense, Sister.

2. Rollerscrapper, who I am delighted is joining us, and is a new online pal. Her blog is very fun and eye-catching. She's also very crafty - I am going to get more tips out of her re: my own crafting, and she just bought a house days ago...

3. Stella, who is a regular on this blog, does not have her own blog. She is very cool and was the friend who lent/gave me 'How To Be Free' by Tom Hodgkinson. She enthusiastically replied to the call: "I'm in!"

4. Jo, who is new to me and also blogless, joins us writing: "Okay, I can do this too. I don't have a blog though. I had a look at my spending spreadsheet and the last week when I bought NOTHING was the first week of August. I checked my calendar (prompted by Tena's comment) and I *think* the garden guy will skip that week but if he does mow my lawn during the challenge, I'll need an exception to pay him on the same day.' (My advice is to mail him the money tonight before midnight or else next Tuesday at midnight :))

5. Elizabeth, who also has a great blog 'chronicling a year outside the mall'. How perfect for our challenge and what a great person for me to connect to this year while I am also avoiding malls like the plague!

6. Moi. If you're reading this, you probably know a bit about me, but if not, this is my second No Spend Week this year, and I'm also almost 11 months into a year of not buying anything new. My original No Spend Week inspiration is Consumption Rebellion, and I joined her similar challenge in April and you can read more about my call to arms for tomorrow's challenge here.

As far as No Spend Week goes, by now you may know the drill, but here goes:

We are not spending anything from midnight tonight until Tuesday Nov. 30th at midnight. A full week of not being consumers. It will foster creativity, bartering, and learning to be satisfied with what we have. Hopefully. It may also bring on anger, boredom, frustration, and the evil eye from our spouses. But, I think it's a worthwhile endeavour. It also covers Buy Nothing Day, which you may consider participating in even if you are not doing the week-long-haul with us.

xo
Keep your fingers crossed for us and if you see us looking parched and desperate, maybe offer to buy us a fizzy water...
Tara

P.S. for Art Every Day, I'm knitting on my slippers for gifts. And just for you, this treat from my American pal, David Monteith, who was inspired to share after my example of Haiku. Thanks for sharing David.

Art Every Day, my friends. It's everywhere. It's in you to give:

Heard you been writing some haikus.
I'm a big fan of the form.
I wrote this one on the subway a couple of days ago. Thought you might like it.

Sadly, I just learned
I'm not the only one who
farts in subway cars.

~David M

Cotton Anniversary Arrives

2010-11-22T16:16:00.003-05:00

At midnight last night we decided to begin our anniversary celebrations. Today is our 2 year, 'Cotton Anniversary'.

As you know, I haven't been buying anything new this year, but am allowed to get supplies for do-it-yourself projects. So I thought the floppy hat thing was going to be a perfect gift, thematically appropriate; labour intensive and loving enough. As you can see by the photo where I am modeling the hat, (taken after soaking it in 4 kettles of boiling water and drying it on high for 2 hours), it is still big enough to be a toilet seat cover. I will be making another hat for my wife, but I need to get a lesson in what went wrong. I know our heads aren't that small. I may use it for a thinking cap. Inspiration and plenty of room for brain growth.

I scrambled for another cotton gift, and decided to make a pillow with a couple of old favourite t-shirts. One side is from a t-shirt that we got on our honeymoon that is like an old tattoo that says 'Love is all', the other side of the pillow is from the first 'Cheap Queers' show my wife took me to. It's an outrageous, annual comedy and anything goes show during Pride Week. The cost is kept ridiculously low (I think the tickets were $6.49) and they make shirts that they stamp their this-year's-logo on, from a pile culled from thrift stores. Actually 'Cheap Queers' is also thematically appropriate to me not spending a lot this year. I even got some buttons that looked like old fashioned tattoos. Dawn used images of old tattoos as inspiration when making decorations for our wedding way back two years ago.

So that was my cotton part, and then I wanted to do something else but one of my high tech creative projects is 'stalled in post-production'. A fancy way of me saying I need to haul my butt out and get a tutorial from someone other that my wife so it can be a treat for her. I ended up making a funny, not so complicated animation video for her (from a website). Since I'm not buying anything, I chose the only two 'free' characters from the human-looking options. They happened to be one male and one female. They were sitting at an anchor desk, and I thought that was kind of cool, since hey, our wedding might be considered 'newsworthy' on our anniversary.

(Speaking of Newsworthy, here's a little article from the Toronto Star about our wedding. There are a couple of errors, as in it was my first foray into online dating, and my dress had a gold thread, but the warmth and gist of it were very sweet.)

Back to my animation debut: I gave both my cartoon characters female British accents, since my wife loves a British Lady Voice. And then I created an animated video of our wedding vows. It gets better. The day before the big reveal, I showed it to my twin sister, since I was so proud. With some surprise, she asked me why I chose Larry King's signature stage set, and picked Larry King and Sarah Palin to 'read' our vows. As you might gather, I don't watch much News TV. She pulled up Larry King's show on the television, and sure enough, it looks just like it's cartoon version. The video of our vows is almost 4 minutes in length, and it was pretty hysterical to watch Larry and Sarah mouth our words like Girlish British Robots. But, I guess in truth, if I'd realized that's who they were, I'd probably have gone with the bunny and cat characters. But it got a good laugh, and my wife cracked up, especially about the fact that I didn't even realize who I was 'casting'.

I gave Dawn my homemade gifts first and she was suitably delighted. She went last; I'd sensed her gift might be 'bigger' than mine and thought some dramatic waiting and build-up was in order.

Dawn was clearly chomping at the bit to show me her gift. She kept asking, 'Are you sure you don't know what I got you?' And I genuinely did not have a clue. (The real tattoo is not reversed as in the pic below, but after trying to make it work forever, I decided to go with this so it could get posted while it's still our anniversary)

Tonight she has an audition and a show, and we will revisit the site of our first date afterwards to toast our marriage and inspired courtship.

So happy anniversary to me and she.
xo Tara

p.s.: No Spend Week starts on Wednesday, so I (and my fellow participants) have two shopping days to get sorted for that.

Creative Cooking

2010-11-19T18:53:00.000-05:00

I spent the day in bed after about a 90 minute stint at work. It wasn't working for me, I felt pretty cruddy. Not to worry, I feel much better after a session with my Neti Pot, followed by a long nap. It is a very strange sensation to pour saline into one nostril until it comes out the other, but soothing nonetheless.

When I got up I decided to combine art and cooking by trying out a new recipe from Budget Bytes. This was a pasta with butternut squash, spinach and blue cheese. I improvised because I like my food more chunky and was too lazy to puree the squash after roasting it in tiny bites in the oven. It turned out rich and sweet and savory and delicious to both of us.

I was able to share a laugh with my wife when I showed her my original anniversary gift. I knit her a 'floppy hat' out of organic cotton (year two is the 'cotton' anniversary). It turned out about the size of a toilet bowl cover and I haven't had a change to get a tutorial and retry it. We both had a laugh as she tried it on and it came down over her shoulders. I'm going to try and shrink it. I did stay up late last night making her another kind of creative gift. It will be a surprise for our actual anniversary date on Monday, November 22nd. I'll share more with you then.

Okay, I'm off to bond with two of my sisters. One is in town briefly and we are meeting up at my twin's house. There will likely be more arts and crafts there as well as hanging out and having a laugh.

Happy Friday,
xo Tara

Resources Depleted

2010-11-18T22:29:00.001-05:00

I'm feeling a bit under the weather, like my resources are depleted. Kind of sniveling and sorry for myself. So, I must admit, I took the easy way out by again using the hi/lo art form of Haiku today.

I am considering rebranding it as a new therapeutic modality. Therapeutic Haiku. Cure for writer's block, the common cold, and whatever ails you. Give it a shot.

Must get some sleep.
xo
Tara

Day 17 of Art Every Day Month - Poetic Plums

2010-11-17T23:10:00.004-05:00

Heya,

It's getting late so I won't tarry long. To be frank, I still have to do my mindfulness homework, -- a 30+ minute body scan. But I will check in re: my day and my day's art.

The day was good and creepy. An education session about Bed Bugs at job 2 in the a.m. Then off to job 1 for the p.m. Busy, Busy, Busy. Then back to job 2 for evening part of p.m. It could have been fun -- a film festival, but one gal who showed immediately got a scary nosebleed that wouldn't let up. I ended up bringing her to emergency. Ended okay eventually, but no film fest, and much blood later.

For art, I decided to go tres simple. I took a stack of cue cards and decided to write some haiku between shifts in that tiny window of opportunity from 5:15pm to 6:00pm. It's kind of funny because a novel I just finished (The Anthologist by Nicholson Baker) has a main character who is a poet that speaks a bit dis-ingly of haiku. I can't remember why. He also calls a poem that doesn't rhyme a 'plum' not a 'poem'. But it seemed like a quick and easy idea. As it turned out the structure and brevity lent themselves well to me being creative in a short window of time. I wrote 20 haiku poems during less than 45 minutes. The Fast and the Furious, my friends. The structure is 3 lines: 5 syllable/7 syllable/5 syllable.

I know you want a sample, so here goes:

Read a book that did
nothing to promote the form
of Haiku as art.

At Zeller's last night
got the bargain of the day.
Clerks all atwitter.

Clandestine beer in

between shifts. Waiting for the

Mill whistle to blow.

Today is the day
that draws a line in the sand.
10 months till quit date.

My novel sits in
clear blue plastic waiting for
me to dive back in.

Lauren is moving
across our world to be with
the boy who loves her.

Mom carries in her
backpack a letter which resigns
her to peace of mind.

Fifteen bucks burning
a metaphorical hole.
Time for second pint.

and the list goes on...

xo
Tara

6 Takers So Far

2010-11-16T22:01:00.000-05:00

With 7 full shopping days left until NO SPEND WEEK begins on Wed. the 24th of November, I have 6 takers thus far! You still have a week to commit if you are on the fence...As for me, I am so happy to have some company on this and look forward to hearing people's updates as we go.

I did make that long awaited health purchase today. You may remember I said a while back I was going to be buying white runners for working in buildings with bed bugs. It was recommended as the best way to spot them and prevent them from traveling on your clothing etc. Ugh. Well, the cheapest comfortable ones I could find at Zeller's were $49.95. I brought them with a heavy heart up to the cash. I knew I had to have them for my peace of mind and my aching back at work. Well, I'm still cackling with delight over what happened. They scanned at $5.00. The sales clerk double checked then called her supervisor who scuttled off. She came back and said, 'She gets them for $5, but get the rest of them off the shelves now!' Two stock boys were dispatched post haste to get my bargain shoes off the shelves and all the nearby cashiers came over to examine the shoes and shake their heads and exclaim, 'You sure got lucky!' I've become a bit of a cheapskate about spending this year, so this definitely tickled me.

For art everyday month, I'll catch you up on yesterday and today. I've begun a mindfulness course, so part of my homework is doing things mindfully, which I've discovered kind of turns everything into art. I will be mindfully making some spaghetti sauce shortly... But in a more traditional fashion, I've been furiously and artfully knitting away the last two days. I plan to do more once I'm done blogging, before I start cooking. I've also got homework of doing a body scan meditation daily until next Monday's class. It is interesting to note how much our minds wander when we try to focus on our body or our breathing or the present. Also, it ends up being quite deeply relaxing, which is not the purpose, so I have to work a hard at times not to doze off during it. But, ending up feeling relaxed, intentionally or not, I am all for.

My efforts at upping my non-passive leisure are continuing as well as my friend outreach. I've had lunch with one coworker-friend last week and will have lunch with another this week. I'm also meeting up with 3 coworker-friends for after work drinks and catch up on Friday, then seeing two sisters later on. The countdown is also on for my two year anniversary and I am busily working on some sweet little plans for that.

xo
Tara

Quick Update

2010-11-14T17:05:00.001-05:00

Hey there,

No Spend week is fast approaching and so far I have Tena, Stella, and Jo joining me for it! That is great. It's never too late until it starts. In the meantime, we have two weeks to get through and that week to plan for. Jo, if you are able, a tip I used, was to pay for things either before the week or after. i.e.: I paid a little late for a couple of things, and in one instance paid someone before they did the thing so I was not spending during my time period.

In other news I really got my art on this weekend! Friday I knit a lot until my hands were sore and I was no longer experimenting with being well rested. I also took on a fun assignment from my sister. She asked me to pinch hit some ideas for her novel to give examples that would make a character lovable and friendly. I brainstormed some examples to get her started. It was fun to have a specific, novel thing to work on over the day.

Saturday we went out of town and my wife taught as arranged by friends who own a theatre school in Peterborough. We got the b & b experience staying with them, and I got the long awaited, somewhat feared experience of being a participant in a workshop of my wife's (on the fundamentals of stand-up). It was all women and we really connected and did some interesting and creative work and also got a joke or two out of it. I've been wanting to be a fly on the wall in the class, and Dawn said I had to participate if I came, and I'm sooo glad I did. I was glad I didn't let self consciousness hold me back.

Today's art has been more knitting. I have a lot to do to make Christmas gifts. I couldn't find pillow stuffing at the store I was at, so my t-shirt pillows are on hold.

I'm dropping in my traces, so I'll keep this brief. Have a great night,

xo Tara

No Spend Week Challenge

2010-11-11T18:39:00.001-05:00

Guys, I need some other people in the universe to try this challenge with me. It creates a sense of community, camaraderie, and also energy about making it to the finish line.

So, I'll be laying down the gauntlet right about now:

No Spend Week runs from Wed. Nov. 24th - thru until midnight on Tues. Nov. 30th. Another benefit is that it will include Buy Nothing Day, Nov. 26th, traditionally the biggest spending day in North America.

The rules are that for the duration of No Spend Week you do not spend ANY money. The only exceptions are: automatic bill payment that comes out of your account on a certain date, or a genuine health crisis. If you actually need to buy crutches that week, we are not going to count it against you.

That's right, this week involves that dread concept: Planning in Advance. If you plan in advance, you can make sure that you have all the things you Need to survive and even thrive during No Spend Week.

This will help with one of the big benefits we get from participating in such a wildly unpopular challenge. That is, getting a sense of how much we take spending on our whims and wants for granted. Not only will you learn about your own cravings (we notice them much more when we don't succumb to them in milliseconds-much like postponing a cigarette), you will learn some self sufficiency. You will definitely save money. You may reach out to others. You may do things you have been putting off or not gotten around to (i.e.: catch up with family or neighbours, clean the house, cook a massive batch of nail soup from the far recesses of your cupboards, read a whole book, etc.). You will discover the power of not needing to be a consumer.

Just in time for Buy Nothing Day, you can cheerfully stick it to the man by NOT giving in to the relentless onslaught of advertisements that try to make you dissatisfied with who and what you are. You may even achieve enlightenment, nirvana, and ... Hmmm, I can't think of another lofty, somewhat unlikely, but still kind of groovy goal. But you know what I mean.

If you want to participate, let me know and I will post a summary of who all's in, and if you are blogging about it, a link to your blog so people can check out your progress.

You have nothing to lose except your status as a consumer. For more motivation to get off the consumption treadmill see: The Story of Stuff video; Tom Hodgkinson's book 'How to Be Free'; or your online bank statement!

So, lemme know if you want in. The more the merrier.

To read a little about my last No Spend Week experiment back in March check this out...and this and this and this. Basically a series of my posts between March 24 and April 2nd or so. It was worthwhile enough to do again.

xo Tara

P.S.: in Art Everyday news: I am going to watch female comedy students my wife teaches perform their 'class show' of stand-up tonight. Rah Rah, Comedy Girl :) I will be doing some writing of my own before the show begins. I still have to put some sweat equity into that blasted joke about the guy in the droopy drawers.

I Can Do Anything, But I Can't Do Everything

2010-11-10T21:48:00.001-05:00

I walked home tonight with my amazing coworker. She's the woman that I decided to shake up my work life (to be able to come to this new job and get to work with) for a year. An incredibly energetic, positive, knowledgeable force of nature. She walks to and from work EVERY day. To give this some context, I'm feeling proud for getting in 3 such walks (either to or fro, but not both) in a row. She has worked in mental health for around 3 decades without getting burnt out or jaded. She is cutting edge, cool, and great to talk to. And she is the person who recently taught me the great title of this post. I said, 'I think you can do anything!' and she replied, 'I can do anything. But I can't do everything.' She sets a few limits. But it's also pretty empowering to think you can do anything, if you pace yourself and put your mind to it. I've been embracing this motto along with my efforts to: do art daily, not spend, do more non-passive leisure, etc. So, I guess the take home message is to be gentle with myself, while still working to be a work in progress. To not be stagnant.

Also, I am always reminded of the urgency of doing, being, becoming. I don't want to postpone happiness until I have spare time. I might never have spare time. So, I keep inching my way, in more or less, the right direction. Hopefully. Art for tonight will be a pleasure. I will be working on finishing a knitted gift for someone as I simultaneously enjoy watching a movie my wife downloaded for me: The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, in case you're wondering.

I'm looking forward to squeezing in a 4th walk in a row, and to getting out of town this weekend to somewhere with a bit more nature. My wife will be teaching out of town and I'm going to tag along and use the time to work on my own writing projects.

The days are zooming by and I have only 51 days to go to make it to the end of my buy-nothing-new year. Pretty cool.

xo Tara

Art of Showing Up

2010-11-10T08:14:00.000-05:00

Hi there,

I ended up doing the not-so-conventional art of babysitting last night. A good friend asked me to pinch hit at the last minute. So my art for the day ended up being not what I intended. I feel good about helping out a pal and also I walked to work yesterday and the day before, for a grand total of 2 days in a row. This is just 19 days short of a new good habit, if my sources are correct.

Monday's art was more on track. I worked on one of my jokes from last week while I was waiting for my wife's comedy show at the Rivoli to start. Part of art, I'm told, is just showing up and working on the stuff you've got. Sometimes that is harder work than just pulling ideas out of thin air, but worthy of effort and necessary. My seedling joke still needs lots of wordsmithing. It's interesting how what makes me laugh out loud about that guy with the droopy drawers doing the hip-hop walk down the street is so hard to put into words.

I've started making social plans for my No Spend Week. The plans need to be at people's homes, unless they are free events, or else my temptation-resistance skills will be tested severely. Also, when I run out of supplies at home (or get bored of my choices) visiting others will be a way to get me some variety. Particularly in the food and beverage categories. I remember the harrowing events of my last No Spend Week where I had to fling myself on the mercy of others to get fizzy water more than once.

Talk to you soon,
xo Tara

Nov.8 Art is Everywhere

2010-11-08T17:21:00.000-05:00

Hi there,

Still haven't bought anything new, sticking to my guns and all that jazz.

Yesterday my art was more knitting and this time I did it with one of my most creative knitter friends, Su. She does things like create gnome villages and felt them, as well as knit me a gorgeous shawl for my birthday, etc. So I was able to combine some friend outreach with some crafting.

As for today, I walked to work, and walking through Parkdale and Dundas West areas I noticed how much art is on the go everywhere. I'm still not too sure what kind of art I'll make of today, but I am doing a couple of artsy things, though they don't really count, since I'm being an audience member. I'm going to check out 4 artists talk about their mental health experiences and how it's related to their art as part of the Rendezvous With Madness Film Festival. A very cool and free event. The films in it are amazing, varied, and very reasonably priced. Apres artist talk, I'm going to watch some pay-what-you-can comedy. I'm sure these events will inspire me to something artistic. And, if it's not something brand new, I still have novel editing and knitting to finish up.

I guess I need to get crack-a-lacking on my No Spend Week. I haven't had any feedback from Consumption Rebellion and I see she just posted after a long while away. I've just sent her a note. I'd like do do my No Spend Week from Nov. 23 or 24 for a week. A firm commitment and specifics to follow soon!

xo
Tara

Bedazzling

2010-11-06T23:01:00.000-04:00

Day 6 of art everyday month. And a just plain nice day. I had brunch with sissy junior (the pet name for all of our baby sisters). Our sister and her beau were in town so we had lunch at a locovore type place near me. We also got to hang out with our youngest cousin. The one who is about 40 years younger. Pretty cute.

Then, we got to party with my great aunt Joan and her friend Georgina. They came to visit my wife and I. My twin came too. This time we got to be the 40-years-younger ones. Well, not quite 40, but you get the gist. I made them dinner while we got their news. I also got gifted a bunch of extra knitting needles in sizes I didn't have, a nice new candle, and some tips on how to make slippers. I had lost the pattern I had scribbled from when my Nanny showed me back in January. Great aunt Joan wrote out the pattern - she knew it by heart. The ladies knit while I cooked up a 'salt-free supper'. It turned out very well. I made my own shake and bake with bread crumbs, lemon zest, Mrs. Dash, and dried oregano; plus I tried a mushroom rice recipe and roasted a whack of vegetables in the oven.

Having my great aunt Joan over was very nice, but a little sad. She is the youngest sister of my Nanny, who died in June and sometimes when she laughs she looks a lot like her. I also showed her our wedding album. My 2 year anniversary is coming up. I have a few regrets about only coming out to her recently, and therefore she was not included in our wedding etc. I was too chicken to talk to her about it for a long time - afraid she'd tell my very religious grandmother, her sister. I probably will never be sure I did right by not telling Nanny such an important thing about myself, but we'll never know. We did have a sweet relationship to the last, so that is something. And in the meantime, I am renewing a real relationship with full disclosure with Aunt Joan. We can make life so complicated. Or so simple.

I guess for today's art a few things went down. I cooked artfully, since I tried a new recipe. Also, after everyone went off, I hauled out my little bedazzling jewelry tin and made a couple of pairs of earrings in black and silver. Not too flashy, not too complicated, but they fill a definite gap in my earring wardrobe. It's harder than you'd think to try and take a visible picture of your earrings. Now I'm going to sit back with my feet up and a hot drink and work on some more knitting.

At Stitch and Bitch last night, we had fun and stayed up too late. I got to teach my sister's roommate David to knit and how to make my famous t-shirt scarf. Our knitting friends joked that since he's new in town he obviously didn't have many options for his Friday night. But he was a great sport about it. My friend Sarah said she thought I was doing a lot with working so much and then trying to do all this daily hobby craft kind of stuff. But I think it's been paying off with me feeling good this month. If all I do is collapse after work then I don't get to enjoy any richness out of my time. All the good stuff I do is for the office or others. I'm definitely enjoying feeling like a creator in my small micro way. Starting to create a pile of homemade gifts for Christmas. I'd better get the word out to all my relations so they don't buy me a car or something then feel stiffed when they get their fuzzy, woolly, handcraft from me.

xo Tara

Nov. 5th the Art of Knitting

2010-11-05T17:03:00.000-04:00

That's right. It's that magical time again - tonight is Stitch and Bitch at Jennifer's house. A rotating location with a core cast of skilled, hilarious, and even tattooed lovelies. I will be hanging with all my knitty friends and hopefully getting neck deep in a delicious new project. I will make sure to put up a photo when it's done. So, for today, art is easy, since I don't have to think up what I'm doing, I know and I am looking forward to it.

I did get to shop today, because according to my own Ground Rules established in December 2009 for my year of nothing new, I decreed that occasional supplies for do-it-yourself crafts like knitting or sewing were sanctioned, but that the bulk of these tasks should be done using recycled/found etc. supplies. I've pretty much honoured that. I don't think I've bought yarn once this year until today. And I must admit it felt like a treat to buy something pretty and new and sashay out of the store with it in my bag.

Tonight, I will be making something new, from a pattern. Thank goodness I've got spotters at S & B to keep me on track. Hopefully once I've made the prototype following the specs precisely, I can find more ways to improvise on that theme using my stash of free yarn.

It's quitting time at work. I can almost hear the mill whistle blowing. In Corner Brook, Newfoundland the whistle from the pulp and paper mill is heard all through town and helps regulate people (mill workers or not) in various aspects of their day whether it's time to pick the kids up, time to head home from the park for supper, or time to book out of your shift etc. I'm not in Corner Brook, but it's moments from 5pm, so I'll bid you a lovely Friday night and talk to you soon.

xo Tara

Nov. 4th Art AND my 200th post!

2010-11-05T01:34:00.000-04:00

Wow, guys. This is my 200th post. That's got a sweet bit of substantiality to it, don't you think? Anyway, I'm high five-ing myself as I write this, just so you know.

This has been an interesting day on many levels. I worked hard, and as part of second job ended up attended an event for the Holocaust Education Week hosted at St. James' Cathedral. It was called my Grandmother's Musical Testimony, and was a combination of video testimony and songs (sung and played by incredible musicians) depicting her experience surviving the holocaust. So moving and emotional and informative. It is my first time attending, and I was very struck by the young man who is a doctor who wrote this musical tribute during his university and residency.

I decided for my Art today to do 2 things. One was cook. For me, it is more 'artful' to cook using a recipe, because I try something new and get excited. So, I tried another recipe from Budget Bytes. My wife came home and sung it's praises so much it was almost comical. And it was a kind of art. But I also wanted to do something simple, more straight up artsy, and not too time consuming. I did a 'focused free write' using as a prompt a sentence chosen at random from a page chosen at random from the novel I am currently enjoying. Thanks to Zoe Whittall for writing 'Holding Still For as Long as Possible'. I am loving it. I ended up landing on this sentence on page 103:

"I love you too," I said back to her, rotating my glass and watching the syrup swirl and wave.

I haven't actually gotten that far in the novel yet, which maybe good for my own creative writing. What I can tell you about her writing is this: READ IT.

xo Tara

Art is Jokes

2010-11-04T08:50:00.000-04:00

The Internet was on the fritz last night, so I'm only able to post now. I wanted to tell you about day three of art every day November. I decided that, since after work I was going to a comedy show my wife was performing stand up in yesterday, I would write jokes for my 'art'. It seemed thematically appropriate and a fun stretch.

The only time I have purposely written jokes before was for our wedding show almost two years ago (a few of which I ended up getting up and spontaneously sharing in Stage Time last month). That time I laboured for two months in the writing and was very nervous and pressured. Yesterday, my goal was to pull ideas from what I saw on the way to the show, or else just think about what was going on for me in general. It was fun - almost like a game. I had 5 'seedling' ideas by the time I was eating my supper and sipping on a drink waiting for the show to start. I ended up with 2 jokes and 3 things to look at another day.

Since you've been kind enough to visit this page, I'll share one with you, but be generous. I'm a novice.

Sometimes you notice things in your life that seem to point to the passage of time. For example, I used to get pretty excited about putting on a leather kilt and going out to a fetish party. Now, I get excited if I can use up all the vegetables in the fridge before they go bad.

Anyway, let's see what today brings me. I'm looking forward to it.

I got lots of compliments on my new t-shirt scarf yesterday. And my great aunt, who is coming to visit for knitting and dinner on Saturday just called to offer me some extra knitting needles, so I'm going to go through what I've got and tell her the gaps in my collection so perhaps she can fill then for me, so I won't need to buy new ones...

xo Tara

November 2nd Photo Update for Upcycled T-shirt

2010-11-02T23:54:00.000-04:00

I just turned a blue one of these:

Into one of these:

Using only my hands and a pair of scissors, in less than an hour. You can't really see how long it is, but it looks great with a coat too.

Yay. Daily art mission accomplished.

xo TaraPublish Post

November 2nd Upcycling as an Art Form

2010-11-02T22:50:00.000-04:00

I'm going to keep this short and sweet because it's 10:45 pm and I've yet to get down to arting up today. Well, not entirely true. I've done some editing of my novel, which is somewhat arty. I also wrote a 'sample prose paragraph' being as artistic as possible for my sister to use as a demo for her grade 6 English class. The topic was the Chilean Miners and I had to try and write using a variety of sentence openers. Kind of fun, but not really my own project.

Today's art: a t-shirt transformation. I'll put up a picture when it's done. I'm using a pattern from a book I have here. This kind of upcycling fits very well thematically with a year of not buying anything new. Take the stuff you've got and magically transform it!

xo
Tara

November 1st

2010-11-01T19:15:00.000-04:00

November first is a day to celebrate twofold. Today marks 10 successful months of me not buying anything new. Yee Haw. Also, today is the first day of my 'November is Art Every Day Month' goal.

For today, my art began on the bus with enjoying reading the 'manuscript' from my 4 years-in-hibernation novel. Such a great way to spend the bus ride compared to feeling crowded and grumbly in the morning. But, I will end my day with actually creating 'art'. I will be writing on the novel (cleverly working titled 'My First Novel') picking up where I left off 92 months or so ago.

Feeling decadent, all I've had for supper is chocolate from coworkers, and I'm going to go to a pub to do my writing once I get off work.

xo Tara

November is Art Every Day Month

2010-10-31T22:42:00.000-04:00

Hiya,

Two post evening here for me. I'm just posting as it's about the flip over into November and I've been doing some serious thought about creative pursuits this month. For a number of reasons. How to be Free talks about creating as a way to get out of the bind of being always the consumer; The Joy of Not Working talks about enjoying 'non-passive leisure' and November is the month of Nanowrimo, or 'National Novel Writing Month'. (I did it in 2006-wrote 200 pages is 30 days). It was pretty amazing. Not my novel, per say, so much as the experience of doing it and getting into being creative on a daily basis.

I think I'm going to embrace Nano, slightly revised this November. I just today came across this site, called November is Art Every Day Month. And I am setting a goal of doing something artsy/craftsy daily in November. For me, this can include knitting, sewing, writing, editing, film etc. Basically any art modality out there. There's a bit of artist in all of us, and when you work hard at a not so artsy profession, it really helps you achieve a kind of magical balance to haul out the artist and put her to work on a regular basis.

So here's to November - a creative antidote to consumerism,

xo Tara

Happy Halloween

2010-10-31T18:08:00.000-04:00

Today was a relatively easy day not to buy anything new, since I have not gotten out of my pyjamas. I ended up trying a second recipe on Budget Bytes blog - the jambalaya (both really good), watched some of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and then took an epic nap. It means I also missed my dance class, but on the plus side I feel great!

We don't have any trick or treaters in our building, they do it in the lobby, so it's going to be a relaxing evening as well. I've decided to roll with the not getting dressed theme and if I go down to the lobby for something, I can pretend I'm doing a p.j.'s costume.

I'm going to get going on that shopping list for Jan. 2011. I just remembered I really want a full length mirror so I can make myself somewhat presentable before I leave the house. Maybe I'll start a little list on the side of the blog this week of things I want/need.

Have a great evening,

xo Tara

Food Blog for Budgeteers

2010-10-30T14:22:00.000-04:00

I just found out about this blog, Budget Bytes, via someone who read mine. Thanks Debra. I'm going to go out to the grocery store and get some turkey sausage to make the lentil and sausage stew today. I like her tag line, "On a mission to save money and eat well!" Such a great goal.

I'm feeling very fine today, having slept in until almost 1pm! Now I am cheerfully puttering in my pyjamas before I leave the house to do some errands.

I've been thinking about my list of January shopping some more, and I think I'm going to add 'steamer' to it. It is a great, non-toxic way to clean. I never iron, so it's not that likely I'll be regularly steaming my clothing except as a carefulness measure after visiting possible bed bug hot spots. Ugh.

I'm also trying to puzzle out the instructions to something I want to make as a gift, so beside turkey sausage, I may be making a pit stop to visit some experts for advice. Sound a bit cryptic? I don't want anyone to know what I'm making... But it sure feels nice to be making stuff.

Have a great Saturday, and hope all your Halloween party night wishes come true.

xo Tara

Nail Soup on Hold

2010-10-29T23:17:00.000-04:00

I used my few meagre bucks to pick up some meat so I could come home and scare up some "Nail Soup" this weekend. You know, where you pull something out of thin air from the cupboards that look sorta bare. The new ingredient, in this case some meat, would help it all come together. Well, I had just spend $5 at the grocery store then popped into my part time job (to pick up my November metropass before November 1st strikes and I'm cursing everything because I have to spend $3 per trip on the transit) when my twin calls.

It's cool news, our great also-a-twin friend Jill has called and wants us to go see the John Lennon movie with her in 40 minutes. Impromptu friend action. Yay. And I've been trying to do more friend outreach. It's so silly that as adults unless we bump into our friends literally, we sometimes get too busy to see them and weeks or months can go by. So, I dropped my beef in the freezer at work and bee lined for the cinema and a reunion with an old friend. The nail soup can wait, and in the mean time, I'm 'showing up' and engaging in some passive (movie watching) and non-passive leisure (catching up). I highly recommend the film, and I have to go check out the gossip surrounding it now by doing an online search. But, I can't pass it on to you guys, or I'd have to switch my bracelet (for complaints/criticisms/gossip). Sorry about that.

I also lucked out frugal wise. I had one handy voucher from Air Miles I've been carrying around in my wallet for months that bought two tickets, two fizzy waters, and one popcorn for ce soir.

re: Nothing New: I did some window shopping today to plot my January shoe shop. I almost wanted to lick those shoes at Trove. They are like candy.

Looking forward to a lazy Saturday with my wife tomorrow before gearing up for Halloween partying. Again, I'll be showing up. It's good for you.

xo Tara

Something's Missing: My Twin

2010-10-28T10:19:00.001-04:00

I just realized when looking at my big, writer's cramp-length entry from yesterday that something is missing from it. While my twin appeared embedded in it, she actually deserves her own bullet point, and ticker tape parade for helping me with not buying anything new this year. Let me elaborate:

She showed me how to get started with a blog when blog was just an idea in my head, but I'd never actually even looked at one.
She explained some realities of social media to me.
She likes to do fun, no new things with me, like writing.
She nudged me to post more and more regularly (and has done so consistently since January).
She is unfailingly enthusiastic. Knowing that someone specific is reading it is helpful, and especially at first being able to count on an audience of at least one kept some momentum going.
I can always talk her into giving or lending me stuff I need but can't buy! (i.e.: the kettle off her kitchen counter, 'Hey listen, Tena, you don't drink much coffee anyway, right?...')
Sometimes she has sold, given or lent me stuff with the tags still on it, giving me the pseudo-thrill of shopping.
She has generously bought me things this year (I did not ask her to - that would be against my ground rules) which helped me out.
She has hooked me up with cool sites, books, and people.
She learned how to knit mittens and is making me a pair, and is an integral part of Stitch & Bitch nights too.

So, thanks TwinTwo.

Now I've got to finalize my Halloween Costume for this evening's work party. Using only things I already have (not buying anything), it looks like I may end up being something very scary this year - a Conservative. I'm going to wear a 'Stephen Harper' t-shirt and my rainbow hat. I hope I don't frighten too many people with my costume.

xo Tara

22 Things That Helped Me Not Buy Anything New All Year

2010-10-27T18:27:00.003-04:00

Some of this list is about being inspired, some of it is about finding joy and pleasure in things other than shopping.  Some of it is about TCB (Taking Care of Business), taking care of myself, and some of it was simply funny and/or practical. Here goes:

1. Being inspired by Trina. My friend Trina, who lives back in Newfoundland, did this challenge last year. Every few months when we visited, I found myself wanting to hear more and get an update. I got a growing sense that this was something that I really wanted for myself this year. For a lot of reasons.  That may warrant a post all its own, but in a nutshell: to jump off the consumption bandwagon, to be a little kinder to the earth, and to get a grip on my finances were some of my more compelling reasons.

2. Clutter Busting by Brooks Palmer. Both his book and his blog have helped me to cut the crap (or a lot of it anyway) so to speak out of my life. And by crap, I mean the stuff I don't need or use anymore that is hanging around taking up valuable real estate in my home. He is funny and real and I get a lot out of re-reading from time to time. It makes me less likely to buy things to bring into my home and much more eager and willing to 'let things go'. So liberating. Our home is much more lovely and clear thanks to his tutelage.

3. Not Buying it by Judith Levine. This book was lent to me by the lovely and talented Bougie who just released a new CD with a little help from her friends. It started me on a trend of borrowing and sharing books from libraries and people that fit well with a No New Stuff year. It also described Judith and her partner's VERY disciplined year of not buying anything new. She is already a professional author, so she wrote and researched well on the topic. They took it much farther than me. For example, she and her partner both committed to it, and they made it so strict that in addition to not buying anything new, they bought nothing 'non-essential'. This meant they only went to free entertainment, and only bought basic ingredients for meals (no prepared food or fancy stuff). Her descriptions of coping with and overcoming boredom really struck a cord. We often spend money because we are bored. What a lack of imagination! Shame on us. We can do better than that. For my year, I allowed myself 'experiences', so good food and going out to a show were not off the menu.

4. Consumption Rebellion This blog with a tag line 'consuming without exploiting' and 'joyful consumption' helped me to consider some of the broader issues around consumption in my own life and how I fit into these categories. I like her way of expressing herself and not being holier than thou. It is about making conscious choices about how to consume and then when we do consume, doing it with gusto and joy. Joylessly eating fast food in a rush does NOT fit into this kind of life, nor does buying a lot of disposable crud we don't really like or need. She also got me started on my initial 'No Spend Week' - more on that later...

5. No Spend Week Thanks again to Consumption Rebellion for this great idea. A full 7 days of not spending any money (other than automatic bill payments that come out of your account) makes you plan ahead, organize yourself and helps to clarify needs versus wants. I definitely saved money that week, forced myself to be creative, and also noticed where my bored cravings cropped up. I hadn't been shopping for stuff, but am guilty as the next person of spending joylessly when a bit bored for a fizzy drink or treat etc. This week I also cleverly got myself invited to people's houses for food and drinks that I hadn't had the foresight or cash to stock up on (i.e.: salmon and wine at my twin's). I even got creative about how to do a wedding shower gift. I got a card in the mail with a little cash prior to the week's start date, and showed up with a re-gift joke gift that got a good laugh. I plan to do another No Spend Week in November to coincide with Buy Nothing Day (Nov.26), and am hoping some readers will join me! Stay tuned for more details.

6. How to Be Free by Tom Hodgekinson. This book was lent to me by the funny and gifted Stella. She actually told me I could keep it. That's a good thing because I've marked up a lot. I love to mark up books. It makes me feel like I'm absorbing the content better. She warned me it was funny, but maybe not that practical. I feel like it was more practical than she led me to believe, but seriously funny. He is pretty adamant about his manifesto of not buying into the whole consumer culture/big business/government restrictions AND the god given right to enjoy good company, music, food, and drink with impunity. He talks a lot about returning to basics and simplifying your life and how automation/specialization has made many jobs so uni-dimensional there is no joy in them (versus the natural variety life once held i.e.: taking care of home and growing, and cooking etc. held much satisfaction and pleasure). He is hilarious and spot on, and reminded me of simple things like to get out of the mindset of being a consumer, I need to make more things, whether it is art, practical, growing stuff, etc. I need to be more connected to things with my hands. Crafts and writing have been how this has played out for me. Also, sitting on the cover on a upside down shopping cart playing a ukulele, he cut a much different figure of an anarchist than I was used to (my only reference being the Sex Pistols song). Finally, there is a long list of interesting resources in the book.

7. Accountability - Everyone Knows.  It has been helpful to have people know I'm doing this since I would feel a bit funny if I gave up on it now. Also, this is kind of funny, but in some settings I actually have FORGOTTEN that I'm not buying anything new. Honestly. It's happened twice on vacation when I've gone to buy a souvenir for my wife or something and been stopped by my Aunt saying, 'Tara, aren't you not buying anything new?' And it's not even as if I was cheating, it is just something about being transported out of my everyday environment, I suppose.

8. Avoiding the Malls. It really helps to stop seeing all the things you can't have. It stops with cravings, jealousy, feeling deprived, etc. Going to a mall, much like watching TV, or reading a magazine, or driving by any kind of urban area has basically become a nonstop sensory onslaught of being advertised to. If you don't see it, you are less likely to want it. I also found that by avoiding the malls I was less snobby and more appreciative about the wares on offer at Value Village and other used options.

9. The Joy of Not Working. I've mentioned this book a few times lately. My mother has a copy and I plan to finish reading it when I visit her at Christmas. It reminded me of some important values of mine, like a balance of work and play and self-care being vital to my well being. It also reminded me how lopsided and unbalanced I was getting. Since reading it a few weeks ago I have made inroads and ongoing efforts and outreach attempts in my non-passive leisure. It cautions us not to wait to do meaningful leisure until we are retired or have time for it. We need to do it now. It will rejuvenate us, and if we wait till we have time, we won't remember how to do it. This will be particularly important to me as I head into 'semi-retirement' next year (aka going down to only one full time job!).

10. Beg, Borrow, but Don't Steal. Stealing is wrong. But begging and borrowing are great fun once you get used to them. I've been the grateful recipient of the kindness of both strangers and friends this year, and they might not have gotten the pleasure of helping me out if I'd just gone shopping for my own new thing. My twin has been particularly useful in this. To date (an incomplete list of takes from her include pillows, clothing, books, a kettle...)

11. Clothing Swaps. I only went to one clothing swap before this year of nothing new. Now I have my eyes peeled for them. I really like that it means perfectly good things are not wasted and that something I no longer use gets a new life as just the ticket for someone else. It's a great community building event and keeps stuff out of the junk heap and in circulation longer.

12. Gifts - Receiving them, and Making them. Having kept open the possibility of receiving gifts has meant a couple of treats this year I could not have had otherwise. Thanks to my sister, momma, stepmomma, and momma-in-law in particular. Also, I've gotten more thoughtful and creative about making gifts. But, I could get even better at it.

13. Having Specific Financial Goals. Let's face it, this isn't all altruistic and environmental. There is a pecuniary upside to not buying anything new for a year. I've saved a lot of money and channelled it directly into goals of ours. We've paid down student loan debt, consumer debt, and our mortgage. We've maximized our RRSPs (retirement savings) and started a cottage fund, and a rainy day fund. We are working very hard to live a life within our means. We have just cut Rogers GIANT cable bill out of our lives and are awaiting the axe of our 2 billion channels any day now. I like to think of us as a work in progress. We are getting there. I also find that re-reading a couple of financial books from time to time helps keep me focused (i.e.: Smart Couples Finish Rich by David Bach).

14. Shrinking things in the Dryer So they Fit My Short Legs. This is a sore spot joke. I shrunk a couple of my much taller wife's pants early on in my year of not buying anything new. She started to think it might be a ploy to shop from her tall girl pants. We made up since it was an accident, but nonetheless, more pants for me!

15. Squalkfox Blog. Her blog is great. 'Where frugal living is sexy, delicious, and fun'. Case in point, the sexy batch of frugal baked beans I made from her recipes section. But she also does some great straight talking about money related stuff, and I mentioned before her article (see link) on 'The real reason you're broke'. She paid off her big student loan in 6 months by, get this, continuing to live like a student. So simple and yet, so amazing.

16. Stitch & Bitch Nights. Obviously, since I'm trying so hard not to complain, these are all about the stitch for me. Ha. My friend Sarah I. invited me to my first one a few years ago and I was so delighted to see so many cool, tattooed girls knitting and sewing. It has helped me get more creative, socialize, and also to mend and fix things that might have gone on the dung heap a while back. Keeps things in circulation longer, saves me money, and brings a serious heaping of joy and fun into my life. It also ended up being a cool way to bond with my grandmothers, getting back into knitting. Thanks Sarah. Also, thanks to all the sisters (Sarah's and my twin, and Giselle, for being the heart, soul, and funnybone of S & B).

17. The Happiness Project Book and Blog. Gretchen Rubin has a great, fun, useful blog (and book) with lots of helpful hints, tools and reminders about ways to increase our happiness. The theme this months is friends and the latest tip was 'show up'. I was delighted with myself for doing that a couple of weeks ago with a reunion to London that had been long postponed. It was great. And, interestingly, she says there is evidence that we are more drawn and attracted to people we see frequently. So keep showing up and you'll be more liked. When you're not shopping, you have more time to devote to things like happiness.

18. Upcycling My Favourite Jeans. Turning my favourite jeans into my favourite skirt was a great motivator. I have to thank my wife for insisting I stop wearing the jeans, and our friend, Julie for patiently doing most of the work on them at a quiet stitch and bitch night. They are perfect with everything and I lover them dearly. They also taught me to use my sewing machine again and to remake things into other things when they are no longer serving me as they are.

19. Value Village 50% Off Sales. I've been giving a lot of credit to the village lately. But they are kind of the department store of thrift and I do find it ++ helpful to be able to go straight to a rack with my size and start sifting. I've also blogged about various trips to the village with my mom, here, here, and here. It has helped me with updating wardrobe, dressy enough clothes for work, and with keeping things in the cycle of use and out of the dung heap.

20. Writing My Own Blog Regularly. This has given structure to a year long goal that is about NOT doing something. It has also been a lot of fun to learn a completely new skill and to check out a whole world of information and like minded, or thought provoking other people's blogs. I have found myself happiest when I am regularly blogging, and it's funny but it's easier to blog daily once you get into the swing of it. It is also easy to get out of the swing of it, so thanks for people who have been encouraging. A shout out to Tena, who prods me with friendly reminders if I slack off. It helps a lot to know someone is reading it.

21. www.ourcompactlife.org. This is the website of the couple that did this a couple of years ago and inspired my friend Trina, who in turn inspired me. So, I must tip my hat to them. They also did the challenge with kids, so harder than for me.

22. www.thestoryofstuff.com. If you haven't seen this amazing 20 or so minute video, take the time to do it. It really, truly speaks to why it is a good idea to stop buying so much new stuff. It looks in a realistic, accessible, and even optimistic way at the current cycle of production and how much room for improvement there is. It literally showed me that I needed to get off the treadmill of work (feel tired), watch tv (see commercial/feel dissatisfied)go to mall/shop/work (feel tired)....repeat.

So there you have it, my list so far. I've got 65 days to go to make it to a year. I'm also working on feeling generally more satisfied by doing things that give me pleasure as opposed to buying things that give me pleasure. One I can't remember if I mentioned is I hauled out my old novel from Na No Wri Mo (2006) and it is making me laugh out loud. Such a pleasure to be cracking myself up!

xo Tara

Health Purchase Alert

2010-10-26T20:18:00.001-04:00

So, I am giving you all fair warning, I'll be needing to buy something for the good of my health. Mental and physical. I need to get some supportive, white runners to wear to my part time job because BED BUGS abound in subsidized housing (and lots of other places) and the new wisdom is that it is easiest to spot bed bugs on white shoes. Of course I also have to carry them around triple-bagged on my person between buildings and, ugh, keep them somewhere at home safe from my stuff. The shoes I've been using aren't cutting it (they are more like cute slippers) for 4 hours of standing. The old back and feet start grumbling.

So, to keep my home safe from bed bugs, my peace of mind somewhat intact, and to keep my level of freak out as low as possible, that purchase will be happening asap.

Just to keep you all in the loop.

xo Tara

Beat to a Snot

2010-10-25T21:55:00.000-04:00

Not sure if I have a post thusly entitled or not, but I am a bit pooped tonight. I feel okay though, which is saying something since we found out our local angry conservative has won the mayoral election tonight. I am trying to feel good about just having had the right and opportunity to vote for the person who I feel reflects my values, even though they didn't get in.

I've also been given a slight financial thrashing today in the form of:

a reassessment by revenue Canada (not for a lot, but the bottom line is I owe more income tax than I thought I did, adding insult to injury as I'm still eking out portions of the payment due for last year).
a final Roger's bill to the tune of $762 bucks. I am so grateful that we canceled, but the next couple of months as we transition will still be painful and expensive. Sadly, I'll have to cash in some hard won Canada Savings Bonds to pay that one off, but being rid of Roger's will be well worth any agony.

I think that Roger's will actually click off as of tomorrow, so perhaps I should jump on and watch a couple of last minute HBO offerings before the cutoff. But, to be honest, I'm very engrossed in a novel I just got yesterday. A shout out to Emma Donoghue who wrote 'Slammerkin' and 'Life Mask', and most recently, 'ROOM', which I cannot put down. A good sign that I will be able to weather our new cable-free status.

Talk soon,
xo Tara

Stats from the Trenches

2010-10-24T19:57:00.000-04:00

Hey there,

My twin pointed out it's been 8 long days since my last post. Not very disciplined of me. I must admit to getting a bit off routine. Yesterday though, I got re-energized about blogging by my little brother, whose funny money blog I mentioned not long ago. He showed me on his iPhone at the cottage, how I can look up 'stats' on my blog and see all kinds of things. Things like what post of mine was the most popular. (Since July anyway, when stats function began). I never would have known otherwise.

It showed all the countries people are looking at my blog from. Top 10 includes:

Canada
US
Brazil
Russia
Netherlands
Mexico
South Korea
Peru
India
Malta

Pretty cool, eh?

It also showed things like the graph of how views were distributed across time. Not surprisingly, this month since I've not posted much, my views have dipped from September, when my views reached an all time high.

Another quirky stat is Search Words that your blog comes up for, and on the top of my list? 'Beat to a snot'. A favourite expression of mine (denoting fatigue) that is a regular back home in Newfoundland.

I find all this really interesting because before yesterday I really had no way of gauging how many people check out my blog and when, since very few of the people who come by to visit make comments. I suppose I might look into ways to get more commentary and discussion going. I know that one of my goals before the end of the year is to get some more organized and permanent content up front on my blog to make it easier to see some of the things I've learned and used this year to help me with not buying anything new.

I'll just catch you up briefly on what's been going on in the Nothing New world since we last met. I had my girl's reunion in London and it was great! Cindy, who is also trying to decrease her consumption and reads my blog surprised me with a gift (if you recall, I am allowed to accept gifts!) of an adorable purse from Weezi. She likes to use vintage patterns and fabrics. Also, on a thriftiness note, we went out for drinks to an old spot we all had worked in university, and for brunch the next day, but otherwise had a great meal and drinks at Sarah's house and it was so fun and relaxing and just reminded me I need to do more friend outreach and visiting in homes (both at my place and away).

I've definitely been working hard on my resolutions from The Joy of Not Working (aka more non-passive leisure). I've been doing more crafty stuff, more writing, and working on a video project.

I also have been trying out some recipes on the blog of Squalkfox, whose blog I mentioned not long ago. A lot of her stuff is on money and if her tag line is correct will apparently help me make frugal living 'sexy, delicious, and fun'. All that with a crock pot of her baked beans. We'll see...

Okay, so what else is going on? I've gotten semi used to my new job where I am still running to keep up. But enjoying it. I will be taking a Mindfulness Meditation course through my work starting November 8th, and I am really looking forward to forcing myself to take a breather and stop time traveling to ruminate about the past or worry about the future, and get good at just 'being'. I think that ties in with the Nothing New theme too. Shopping is often about boredom and dissatisfaction.

On the topic of boredom, our go-to-girl on happiness gave this fabulous advice that I've been smiling out loud to this week: If something bores you, try putting the word 'Meditation' after it. As in, 'I'm doing my Bus Waiting Meditation'. Puts a new spin on it. Kind of like someone else I once read who said when trying something new to ward off people's opinions and nay saying, you can say 'I'm experimenting with...' I think he meant something like a healthy change or something difficult that people are likely to pass judgement on. 'Experimenting with' makes it more playful and takes some of the heat off of having to succeed or be perfect. As in 'I'm experimenting with a No Spend Week.' I wish I could remember who wrote it.

Plan: I want to see if I can get another 'No Spend Week' challenge going. I think I will check in with the champ at Consumption Rebellion who rounded up the troops for the last one. Maybe we can get it to coincide with the 'Buy Nothing Day' in November.

So, I'm off to work on that sexy crock pot of beans. I'll let you know how she goes.

xo Tara

S & B a Success

2010-10-16T12:50:00.000-04:00

My Stitch and Bitch night last night was great fun. We've booked the next two. There were 6 of us including me, my twin, my co-founder of monthly S & B, Sarah, Sarah's two sisters and her friend Giselle. Whenever I hang out with Sarah et. al, I always laugh a lot and am in a good mood the next day. We should do it even more often.

I ended up giving away some stuff I don't use anymore and I ended up hauling out the sewing machine and with a lot of spotting turned a t-shirt into cute gift bags, as well as a big chunk of green jersey I was going to give away (it's been taking up real estate in my closet for 3 years now), into cute Christmas gift bags, and getting experimental-I also threw in a halter top and when I grew tired of sewing, used the last 5 feet to make myself a fetching green cape for the night.

Some other highlights included listening to all 4 hours of my 40th b-day play list. Some people enjoyed this more than others. Basically the 40 year olds really liked it, the youngsters were on the fence. We also looked up Sissy Bounce, and some old fashioned words for girl stuff.

Gotta go to London for a girls reunion with old friends from 15 years ago!

xo Tara

Cool Blog About Tough Love re: $$$

2010-10-13T16:02:00.000-04:00

I just came across this article thanks to my brother in law on a blog called Squalkfox. It speaks to some of the reasons I started this challenge of not buying anything new for a year. Some of the reasons are loftier environmental ones, but some of the big reasons are that I had to do something drastic to cut my spending to the bone to get on track financially. You can only live beyond your means for so long before it really starts to suck, and this world makes it easy to keep doing. It becomes like shovelling money into an ever more giant pit. Her entry on 'The Real Reason You're Broke' likens being broke to needing to go on a diet. She says something roughly along the lines of: 'like you've got to cut calories, you've got to cut the costs and go a bit hungry.'

Besides feeling irritable with wanting to shop and occasional frustration, this year has yielded lots of good dividends. I've increased my sense of self determination by doing something tough for me and sticking with it. I've begun to seriously appreciate things like used clothing stores and clothing swaps etc. I've enjoyed the experience of less clutter. And I've saved $11,000 in RRSPs, $4000 in other savings, and paid off $17,100 in consumer and student loan debt so far this year! I'm still not done by a long shot, but that is pretty frigging cool, isn't it?

So check out her blog. I like it.

xo Tara

2010-10-11T23:10:00.000-04:00

I'm going to steal a quote from a favourite blog of mine, The Happiness Project, whose latest post quotes William Morris saying,

The secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.

I've been working hard on that one this weekend. Friday, as I mentioned I did a big grocery shop (thinking up specific meals).

Saturday I plodded steadily through my bedroom. I cleaned my closet, my desk, my dresser tops, and vacuumed and changed the bed, dusted etc. I have a bag of borrowed clothing to return to my sister and a bag to donate of things I'm willing to get rid of. She can have dibs since I've been such a borrower of her stuff lately. In any case, you can feel the chi flowing in my bedroom again.

Sunday was a trip to spend time with my wife at my in-laws, including my two nephews and niece, out in the country. I love them all, but a highlight was my youngest nephew, Sammy, calling me by name for the first time. Of course since he's only 16 months old, his pronunciation is a little off, but I actually enjoy Tara being pronounced 'Ra-Ra'. I think it's very much like being cheered on every time it's said.

Monday, today, I picked up with my Clutter Busting and tackled the living room and kitchen. I had a lovely old fashioned school desk smothered in piles of papers to sort/file/shred, bags to be unpacked, stacks of books etc. I did the routine tasks like vacuum, dust, dishes, counter, stove top etc. I cooked up a meal and packed tomorrow's lunches (!), and I also sorted through and rid myself of two big recycle bags of paper. I also took down suitcases and my wife's bike to storage so our condo looks very pretty and clutter free compared to yesterday.

I haven't really stopped today, but it feels very, very good to have done all this. So I think the quote about taking a genuine interest in the details of daily life helped me to actually enjoy the process. And that's happiness, right? I've been wanting to do more creatively, and I feel like I need to 'clear my workspace' to be able to do that. It's happening.

So, Happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for my family, the one I was born with and the one I created by marrying my wife.

xo
Tara

Blow Out at the Grocery Store

2010-10-08T19:18:00.002-04:00

Hi there,

I ended up shopping my brains out at the grocery store today. I spent $169. Let me explain. I've decided that something has to give from time to time and my goals of: being a cheapskate, eating relatively healthy, not spending tons of time cooking, and not coming to blows with my beloved re: her never cooking were getting in each other's way.

I also have been thinking about my mother's book, "The Joy of Not Working" and it's advice not to spend too much time on chores such as cooking and cleaning. In other words, simplifying things. So, I got a lot of frozen foods that are 'healthy' i.e.: Blue Menu, and very straightforward to prepare, as well as salad and delux/delish sandwich stuff. I loves a good sandwich. So, between my wife and I, we should be able to keep our wits about us, pack lunches, and make suppers with vegetables and protein in short order. Wish me luck. I'll report back.

I still haven't bought anything new, but I am thinking about my list of needed & wanted items for January 2011. I have decided that I am going to work on creating that list and have a 'shopping amnesty' week or two in January to get necessary items, then go back to nothing new for the rest of the year. I may throw in another rule or disclaimer or two. To be determined - I am still mulling over my personal fine print.

Did I mention we cancelled cable? Roger's has been showing us it's ice cold back of hand, and we are trying to squeeze in all the HBO and on-demand possible until the cutoff date of Oct. 26th. We will save a lot of dough, but will need to figure out how to get our Dexter and Glee fixes. Apparently you can watch on the website a day later for Glee.

I've got my Stitch & Bitch coming up on Friday next, (but I will endeavour to leave out bitching, since I'm trying hard not to complain. Still had to switch that 'complaint free world.org' bracelet a few times today, but at least I've been catching myself solidly in the act).

Also, as recommended by 'Joy of Not Working', I have had more active leisure: today I did Terry Fox Run with my sister's school, had a lunch date with a friend, and tonight am going to see an indie film with my wife. Also, I booked a trip to London, Ontario to see two semi-long-lost friends that I can't wait to catch up with. Cindy is not so long lost, but it's been ages. Sarah T is someone I haven't seen since I was in my mid-to-late 20's. I've switched demographics at least thrice since then.

xo Tara

Wining not Whining

2010-10-06T20:20:00.000-04:00

I didn't mention this earlier, because I am trying very hard (and with mild to modest success) to complain less. Well actually, I trying to not complain at all. Very tough. But for the purposes of this story, I will share the fact that I hurt my knee last night. And as the day wore on today, as gravity, walking etc. took it's toll, it felt worse and worse. Enter sweetness.

I bump into my hairdresser on the train two subway stops from home. We say hey and chat a bit. I end up telling her that I blew out my knee, am feeling it and pretty eager to get home. We get off at the same stop and my limp is a fairly obvious thing. She suggests an Epsom salt bath. I happily relay that I have Epsom salts at home but say (not in a complaining tone, mind you) 'I wish I had some whiskey to go with them.' She says, 'Well do you have any wine?' Sadly, I had to report that I did not. Then, she proceeds to open her bag and hand me a bottle of red wine. 'I just picked up two bottles. Go home, take that bath, then get your leg up in the air and enjoy some of this yummy wine.' Random acts of kindness. Just what the world needs more of!

I'm off to get supine.

Thanks Ruth.

xo Tara

Stage Time

2010-10-06T09:22:00.000-04:00

Hiya,

It's the day before payday and I've been feeling the pinch. Yes, we still live in a way that payday is noticeable and the days leading up to it, lean.

But, not everything is wrong with the world. I've been switching my 'Complaint Free World' bracelet a little less often - meaning I'm complaining less. However, I've yet to go a day without switching, so my 21 days complaint free goal is a ways off. Hopefully the bracelet and I will both make it intact. We are coming up to a long weekend and I am looking forward to wreaking a bit of domestic felicity around the home, including a family grocery shopping trip to a sensibly priced store (read-not the corner store). My wife is less than delighted with such outings, so I will likely need to use my firm, no nonsense tone of voice.

I've booked a couple of days off late next week, and two more days in November, so I'll soon be getting a bit of vegging out time. I could really use it.

My new job is working out nicely. They seem to like me and I definitely like them. I've been dressing up to a higher standard on a daily basis and this actually feels good. I've also been putting an effort into being a more social and leisure-doing creature, which also feels good.

Last night my wife had a small comedy show with friends and students of hers. She opened up the mic at the end and encouraged people to come up (by name) and tell a story. I ended up getting up and telling about 5 jokes I wrote almost 2 years ago as a surprise for her just before our wedding. It was very fun, and much more relaxing than the wedding show where I was SO nervous. I'll share one small one with you, since you may have missed it:

"The only men who don't like the thought of two girls kissing, are the fathers of lesbians. Actually one of our father's famously said, 'You know I love Dawn and Tara, I just wish they had boyfriends.' I have to say, though, my Dad has come a long way. Dad recently told me that since he's let the cat out of the bag and finally started telling all his buddies about Dawn and I, it turns out every one's got a lesbian daughter up in Toronto. I guess these days back in Newfoundland, lesbian daughters are the new black. That's how cool my dad is."

How's that for non-passive leisure?

Still nothing new purchased - 9 months and 5 days into 2010.

xo Tara

Dance Class

2010-10-03T13:13:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling good about how I've been actively pursuing less passive types of leisure. Apparently an important prequel to retirement :)

This week I've/we've:

cancelled cable
gone to book club
visited Great Aunt Joan with my knitting
had dinner with friends
walked to work

And this afternoon I'm heading off for a Salsa dance class, which I haven't done in almost 6 years; and helping out with my wife's funnyfunny comedy show tonight.

None of these things are costly, so they work well with the philosophy of No New Is Good News. In fact, I've made a list of people I like and miss because I haven't been very social lately, and am working my way through it doing some old-friend outreach.

No longer all work and no play...

xo Tara

Lessons in Perspective

2010-09-29T22:03:00.000-04:00

Let me be frank. I've been struggling and feeling overwhelmed. My oft repeated phrase 'over-scheduled and under-organized' feels more than apt.

But tonight, just in the nick of time, some lovely perspective lending moments:

1. Talking to my friend Anya, whose ability to be mindful and whose wise counsel helps me not sink into self-loathing and paranoia and reminds me of what I'm doing right and even what I'm doing 'good enough,' that is enough.
2. I got carded for ID at the beer store tonight! I am so glad I popped in for a tallboy and by the look on the dude's face, he doesn't ID that many 41-year-olds. Such a silly ego boost, but lovely on this frantic day.
3. Watching the latest Terry Fox documentary right now, 'Into The Wind'. Thanks Terry Fox. I have a posthumous crush on your and your indomitable spirit. Watching him plow through every obstacle to do this unimaginable thing really lends a healthy perspective to any struggles I might find myself facing. So energizing to watch him.

In Not Buying Anything New news: It feels good to have stayed the course with this goal in the face of so much going on with the minutia of my day-to-day life and changes. And another day of enjoying several compliments on my new second hand wardrobe.

Talk soon,
xo Tara

Tales From Mom's Place

2010-09-26T15:23:00.000-04:00

It has been so rewarding (on various levels) to hang with Momma this weekend. Not only did we get some quality bonding in, we went to an exotic out of town Value Village here in Ottawa, and Mom also opened up her closet and gave me 4 new cardigans (some still had tags on them), and a new black fall coat. She is purging things and apparently we have a similar taste in cardigans. This is funny because we don't share a taste for much clothing wise, but these items are spot on.

Our trip to Value Village was comical and productive. Again, I was delighted and amazed at how much great stuff I could find that fit and looked nice. My work-worthy-wardrobe grows yet again. I think I am learning this year that by not being able to shop for new things I am really seeing the options out there with more enthusiasm. I'm less fussy, but also less lazy. I go the extra mile to search for a used version, and it is generally there when I go look for it. Having said that, shoes are not so good second hand. I know January 1st, I will be buying footwear for sure. The comical part of the Village was the arm wrestle with Mom over a long coat she HATED on me. I did buy it, and perhaps I will have to post a photo of it for an impartial vote from you all? My sister and I voted for buying it against Mom's head-shaking 'No way!' I wasn't going to let this coat slip away after the fiasco of our shopping trip back in January in Value Village Second Thoughts.

Heading home with so much new-to-me (but used) clothing is a reminder that I will feel really good when I do some closet purging and reorg in my room.

Another fun thing about this weekend has been some of the nerdy relaxing things we've done in Ottawa, including: listening to relaxation/meditation CDs as a group (sometimes I fell asleep snoring, but so relaxing - for me anyway); and reading a book Mom got called 'The Joy of Not Working' - she got it to prep for retirement, and I was using it to prep for semi-retirement next year when I go down to one job only in September. It was a good reminder that we need to work on our leisure NOW, not wait until later/retirement etc. I have definitely let my leisure slide. So, look forward to me finding cheap ways to infuse my days and nights with non-passive leisure.

Oh, I almost forgot, Mom also got us books and bracelets with 'A Complaint Free World.org' on them. The deal is you have to switch the bracelet to the other arm every time you complain, criticize, or gossip. And your goal is to go 21 days without having to switch the bracelet. It should help me focus on the positive side of things for a while.

Something I am also putting thought into is what about next year? What is my plan regarding 'No New is Good News' and shopping and what would I like to see happen in 2011? I haven't got it figured out yet, but I am letting it percolate.

Heading back to Toronto feeling refreshed.

xo
Tara

Saturday To Do's-A Belated Rescued Post from a Month Ago...

2010-09-24T17:51:00.002-04:00

I had a nice chat with some old friend's last night and we were talking about my year of not spending and what I can and can't do according to my own ground rules. One of the things I'm glad I left on the list of "okay's for 2010" is occasional meals out. This is something I actually rarely do - both because money is tight and because I'm becoming a bit of a cheapskate about this kind of luxury. And I need to remind myself that in many ways money is tight because I am doing a lot of good, sensible (sometimes very boring) things with it like aggressively paying off my student loan, my RRSP loan, my assorted-debts-lumped-together loan, and saving for my cottage and a rainy day.

But today I'm going for brunch across the street. I just realized we have a new 'local'. It rated 5 N's in NOW magazine and is not expensive and uses local ingredients and is apparently delicious. I'll report back. The place is called Zocalo's (I'm pretty sure). We live in a neighbourhood in transition and this addition is exciting and important as it fills a gap. I'll be bringing my grandfather's memoires, which I have been reading a bit of each night. (He's the grandfather that died in April, not long after completing these memoiries). I love hearing about the old days, the history of the settlers, and how things used to be and got the way they were etc. in the community we are from.

Then, I'll be heading into work to carry on with the mammoth task of culling, sorting, thinning, shredding, organizing etc. my workspace to be able to leave by the time my new job starts.

Wish me luck and the ability to chuck stuff with abandon.

xo Tara
(Posting this late as I just discovered it in 'drafts'. I have lost a few posts that got saved in draft form, so I'll send this off from the 'future'. Today is actually Sept. 24th!)

Thursday Already?

2010-09-23T22:00:00.000-04:00

I can't believe the speed this week has whizzed by at. It's a good reminder to seize the day, folks. Because if time is going by this fast, life really is short.

I've had a productive and lotsa learning kind of week. I'm looking forward to telling you all about a new social network I am 'beta testing' that is thematically appropriate for my year of not buying anything new. I'll get back to you guys on that one, once I check in with the people who are developing it.

Heading to Ottawa tomorrow to see Momma. Yay! There is something so soothing about hanging out with your own mother. We might go second hand shopping. Ottawa has lots of great used clothing shops. Or maybe she'll beg me for permission to buy me something new. Hee Hee.

I'm bringing my laptop for the train ride, which my twin snagged us for half price. Thanks for that, Twin. I've got some leisure catching up to do. I've been slacking off in my leisure and my self-care, what with productivity taking up so many waking hours & brain cells.

re: no new: I talked my twin into 'selling' me her used kettle. Basically I visited her and gave her my sob story about how I'm being nickel and dimed to death buying coffees at my new job. She said I could pay her 'what I thought it was worth' and that she only uses it 'occasionally'. I'll look up the price online and give her a few bucks less since it's a used electric kettle. And she told me to take that amount and put it on our cottage fund. Nice. We're about $15 closer to breaking ground. Also, I must remember to remind my kind coworker who mentioned a used mini-fridge - then I can really stop frittering away money on food and drink at new job.

Also, this is kind of funny, but I have so much clothing right now it is spilling out of my closet. My second hand dressy work clothing spree means I need to do some hardcore clutter busting in my closet. My wife has been very patient with my wardrobe spreading like a creeping vine through our bedroom, but I guess I need to soon nip it in the bud. But, alas, it won't be tonight. I'm packing for Ottawa and my poor old feet are killing me from 6 hours or so of standing in seriously cute but cruelly unsupportive footwear. I am not sure how I will pack now that I've collapsed on the couch and seem to be extraordinarily affected by gravity's pull.

That's about it for ce soir. Did I mention I'm hosting stitch and bitch on Oct. 15th? Thank goodness. It's about time I got back into some handiness and craftiness and laughing with my fellow S & B'ers.

xo Tara

Tales From the No New Frontline

2010-09-20T23:08:00.000-04:00

Good News abounds!

I am again wearing shoes as of today. Thank Gods.

I just finished a novel - Pride and Prejudice Fan Fiction - 'Darcy's Story' - borrowed (not bought) from my sister.

Now, I am about to tuck into the Audio Book version of 'Stumbling on Happiness' by Daniel Gilbert - borrowed (not bought) from the Toronto Public Library. I ordered it a mere 14 months ago when I flipped through a few pages of the book version a client of mine had at camp in July 2009. Ah, but worth the wait, now that it comes to me during my year of not spending! The author is a funny Harvard College Professor of Psychology.

And, for the kicker, I mentioned the want of a mini-fridge for my work (so I can stanch the cash-blood-letting flow on coffees and fizzy waters at my new job) to a coworker who said, 'Oh, I have a bar fridge.' Folks, ask and you shall receive. The universe is providing my friends.

Hey! Only 3 months and 10 days to go for my one year of not buying anything new to be complete.

Also, my wife and I have unanimously decided to postpone going to England as it is in direct competition with the cottage building goal. It definitely feels like the right thing to do this year.

xo Tara

Lots to Think About

2010-09-18T10:40:00.000-04:00

My father called with the news that he has the permit to build on the point. The point is where he has land that my sister and I have long been wanting to build a cottage. In Newfoundland. So, this is becoming a more present reality. And I am hoping that it helps me to yet again refocus my energy on saving and paying down debt. I am conceiving of my financial life is like a boat. (I am rereading my grandfather's memoirs, and he said he never drove a boat that didn't need some steady steering to keep her on course - therefore the simile is apt.)

This clear and present opportunity for a cottage means I need to redouble and recommit to saving, paying off debt, and simplifying our lifestyle and expenses - at least until things are sorted. Having a place of my own (or partly my own) in Newfoundland is of paramount importance to me as family ages and I know I want to always feel like I belong there.

So, re: No New Is Good News: It's only 3 1/2 months to go until the end of the year and I HAVE STAYED THE COURSE thus far! Some challenges I'm facing lately include my new job where I am spending too much on food and drink as I have not yet gotten accustomed to bringing lunch and own drinks etc. I think I need a kettle and a mini bar fridge stat. I will post on facebook and if no one has one for sale, look to used places.

Also, a big issue since the walk is my sensitive feet. I can walk normally again, but they are still so sensitive that I cannot wear shoes or socks. I tried too and had a worse itchy rash at the end of the day. I told my mom that my feet are positively rejecting being shod. I may need to either buy used dressier backless shoes or get 'health' shoes like Birkenstocks or something, since my arches are also sore from flip flops for a week and I can't keep wearing them indefinitely. Not to mention they do not suit the dressier program I am working in right now.

Speaking of my new job, people are being very nice, but I am a bit pooped from thinking so much and learning new stuff and people etc. But, while it is more formal, more structured and way more scheduled I am enjoying the challenge in a way too. Especially when I think of it as a time limited learning sabbatical.

So, I've been thinking I need to add something to my blog like a list that stays for: inspiring things for this year of not spending, and also of things I am buying as soon as the sun rises on the year 2011! I will investigate that.

p.s. Another great friend Julie of the former cheerleading fame has entered into the challenge of not buying anything new. Good luck and keep us posted Julie F.!

xo Tara

p.p.s. Stitch and Bitch is back in October and I am hosting! Yay! It will likely have a practical bent with me looking to fix up some of my second hand bits and pieces.

Walk the 60K Walk Deets

2010-09-15T00:05:00.000-04:00

I'm just going to cut and paste in my thank you to the people who contributed to my fundraising so you all can have more details about my 60K (actually 62K-we were a bit miffed!) walk this past weekend. I was so exhausted when I did my last post, I couldn't even sit up to do it. Since then my fortitude has improved, but I am still very marked about the feet and ankles with swelling and bruising, but NO blisters. It may be a record for the Weekend. I'll have to let them know...

In rainbow formation approaching the Prince's Gates at the CNE we are from left to right: (not including stranger in black) Elana, Donna House, Donna Nothouse, Hallie, Me (Tara), Tena, & Lisa - our Capt.

here's my note:

"I just wanted to pass on a heartfelt thanks to y'all. (I'm forwarding finish line pix from my sister). If you are getting this email it is because you helped me to fundraise $2250 not to mention the extra money you helped the rest of my team raise. The 7 members of the 'Rainbows' together raised $18,000 and all completed the 62K walk for the Weekend to End Women's Cancers standing (barely). (see photos).

Some fun facts:

Almost 5000 women participated in the one day walk. About 2500 hung in for the two day version. None of the Rainbows caught a 'sweep vehicle' at any point -- We all walked all 62K of it. ALSO, when we entered CAMP in Downsview after 9.5 hours of walking on Day 1, we were approached by a woman in a clipboard asking us to please be a part of the catwalk show. The Rainbows got to strut their stuff on the catwalk with about 8 teams. (The high cost of our fabulous uniforms and hats-hats which were donated by Australian hat company when they found out our cause.). The adrenaline rush of our performance and our newfound fans helped us to bear standing/dancing the extra 45 minutes this honour cost us before we could collapse and eat and stretch etc.

I had to call in sick Monday to my day job as I couldn't bear to bear weight on my feet. But I didn't get a single blister. I did sustain a yucky rash over the tops of my feet and around my ankles. Today, I am walking like an average 88 year old might, and unable to put shoes on, with hideous purple/red bruisey rash on feet and heels, but walking is not terribly painful.

During the walk we made some new pals, (especially among the slower walkers-we were in the last 100 to come in before the closing ceremonies, but we did it as a team), and we had some really sweet, moving moments walking through neighbourhoods where people embraced us. There were the Nonas who fed us homemade biscotti and espresso as we started off on day two full of aches and pains; the couple with the 3 week old baby who fed walkers dixie cup shots of Blue Light somewhere around the 6th hour of walking on Day 1; the blind man and his wife (likely in their 70's) sporting matching hot pink wigs with braids who kept passing us on the walk; the 97 year old walker with her granddaughter who we realized was AHEAD of us after lunch on day 2; the two times when we were cheerfully informed that the foursome we were walking in were the LAST four walkers in the lineup and they (on their bikes were the 'caboose'); drinking champagne and orange juice in dixie cups as the last 4 walkers (they handed us the tray); the kiddies all decked out in pink writing us notes on the sidewalk in chalk and passing us handwritten notes saying things like, 'Yay. Keep going. Wow!'; walking with my friend Julie, who is a survivor. And of course the silly thrill I got of all those straight ladies on my team wearing rainbow gear. And yes, many people did suspect we were a group from a Queer alliance, but alas, my straight team mates were simply gaying it forward.

So, thanks again for pitching in by donating to my endcancer page, by coming to a euchre tourney, or by attending or performing in the comedy fundraiser. It all helped us to do something very hard, cool, unique, and unforgettable.

Wish me luck fitting into shoes again soon!

cheers

Tara"

xo Tara

P.S. when our feet were KILLING us in the last 5K we called my mother to call back with a mantra or meditation for us, she did not fail. She called back close to the finish line with this gem:

"I move forward with joy and ease." So say we all. Or we should.

Did it - Now On Ice and Out for the Count

2010-09-12T20:52:00.000-04:00

That's me in Orange. The Rainbow Team all made it to the finish line. This was taken about Km 50 today after lunch. Walked over 9 hours yesterday and 8.5 today. Sooo sore, but it was lovely.

xo Tara

Sanctioned Shopping Spree

2010-09-10T22:10:00.000-04:00

Heya,

I went out tonight to get some of the items on my Weekend to End Women's Cancer's 60K walk must have list. I got items I feel apply under 'health'. For example: body glide (looks a bit like a tiny deodorant and will apparently keep my feet, toenails, underarms, and nippular region from blistering, chaffing, and falling right off. Ack.

I also spent $27 on two pairs of iron man socks that will apparently keep chafe and blisters at bay from the ankle down. Technical socks are a health expense, okay?

I am now trying to find a way to pack all the gear they suggest, plus wrap it all in plastic as rain looms large in the forecast. I kind of hope it holds off until apres camping. We are not big campers. So, while I did find an air mattress, things on the list like 'tarp' and 'ground sheet' are not in my repertoire and it's too late to beg/borrow/steal them now.

So we head out tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn. Camp out overnight at Downsview, complete the walk Sunday in what is apparently a very emotional closing ceremony at CNE grounds (Direct Energy Lot) around 5pm. Okay, that's about it for now. Wish me good fortune. And by good fortune, of course I mean 10 intact toenails come Sunday evening.

xo Tara

A Room With a View

2010-09-09T15:43:00.000-04:00

I have my own office at my new job and it has a view of the CN Tower.

It always makes me feel like a real city girl to glance out the window and see the CN Tower.

Feeling semi-useful and enjoying most aspects of my learning curve today.

Looking forward to meeting with my Weekend to End Women's Cancers 60K walk team this evening to get my rainbow hat and team shirt. Did I mention that a benevolent hat supplier in AUSTRALIA is donating the hats to us (big, floppy, rainbow hats) since she heard what we wanted them for? What nice share-the-wealth karma.

Hard to believe the walk is less than 48 hours away!

xo Tara

New Job Wish List

2010-09-08T12:37:00.001-04:00

Hey there,

Just a short wish list of things I would like at my new job:

1. a used kettle (but not too used)
2. a used bar fridge with a freezer (good for ice packs, my lunch and beverages)
3. keys please
4. access to a printer
5. wrist guard so I don't get carpel tunnel the first week

Otherwise, people are treating me nicely and it's going well. I've enjoyed wearing my new Value Village ensembles two days in a row. My neck is still tres sore. Which leaves me rather worried about this weekend's 60K end cancer walk. Perhaps I haven't been saying my mother's neck-healing affirmations with enough conviction?

xo Tara

Labour Day

2010-09-06T13:07:00.000-04:00

I am definitely labouring for Labour Day. But I am lucky because I have a pal coming to help me a bit with some of the boxing and moving stuff. I am hoping to get out of here with enough time to have a relaxing evening of laying out a pretty outfit, having a soak, and reading, followed by 9 solid hours of sleep. Sounds like a nice way to start the new job. Wish me luck.

I am including a photo of my twin, since I don't have one of me at my workplace. She and I have been doing duelling banjos all weekend with prepping (me to leave my job, her to set up new classroom for tomorrow's first day of school). This picture of her in her class is an apt parallel for how I feel surrounded by my piles and bins! But we've both come a few miles since it was taken at the long weekend's start.

Well, miles to go yet, so talk soon,

xo Tara

Recycled Cards

2010-09-04T22:14:00.001-04:00

I spent a lot of time at my work today working on packing up etc. I have been thinking about the farewell gifts and cards I've been getting and how to reciprocate. I ended up having some fun with old cards I have received in the pas. I spent some time decorating my coworkers' workstations with cartoons and repurposed greeting cards including their original messages. But I crossed out my name from the top and put theirs, then changed them to say 'xo Tara' at the end. Plus I added my own wee messages. My favourite cards to give were ones from my old Japanese exchange students, from my university Don days. The Japanese students were faithful card senders and their greetings were a delightful blend of formality, extreme courtesy, and oddly mishmashed English.

I think they are a perfect fit with my no new year.

xo Tara

Quitting Time

2010-09-03T19:33:00.000-04:00

My last day of work has come and gone, and all in all, it was a bittersweet and mostly pleasant one. I still have loads to do over the weekend to wrap up, but for now I'm home nursing my bad neck and shoring up some steam for the rigors to come.

I had some nice words with various people and a sweet parting gift from my 'work wife'. I had a work wife a few years ago who was actually a man, and when he moved on I went a few years without one. My current work wife is Shannon. She and I connected early and uncommonly well about 2 years ago right when she started. I've learned enormous amounts from her and especially love her fearless and delightful creativity. She's an artist in the true sense of the word. i.e.: everything she touches turns to art - be it words, objects, or actions. But, we also share a similar set of politics and humour. She is much more skilled at pranks than me though. For example, she peppered my workspace with so many cat stickers and magnets that new students of mine always assume I am the wacky cat lady. In fact I am seriously uninterested in pets and she has at least 3 cats at all times.

She and I have decided that since I'm moving jobs, we'll have to take our relationship to the next level and actually become outside work friends. She gave me a parting gift today with a nice card. The gift is so sweet. It's a necklace with a teeny tiny pretend light bulb as a pendant. She said it's because I always have lots of good ideas. I said, nah, it's because I light up your life.

I always think it's nice to miss something when you go. It means it was worthwhile.

xo Tara

One More Working Day

2010-09-02T21:05:00.000-04:00

Don't get too excited guys. What my title refers to is one more paid working day to wrap up my job of the last 7 years before I start my new gig on Tuesday September 7th. It unfortunately does not refer to an early all expenses paid retirement or some such. And it does not allude to the unpaid labour I'll be dishing out all weekend at the office finishing up what definitely will not be accomplished by tomorrow's end.

I'll be spending the lion's share of the day tomorrow at another site helping with a pilot project 'graduation' I've been part of the last 3 months - that will surely be pleasant, but will keep me from getting on with the increasingly urgent task of clearing my desk, files, shelves, and basically all surface areas within a one mile radius of my desk which my stuff has gradually claimed these last several years.

I'm a bit bummed because I've got to dress up for graduation and I have a fresh new blister on my right heel. This is problematic because a) I'm allergic to band aids, b) I don't have any 'dress flops'. My flip flops are seriously casual and definitely do not match my adorable matchy new-used Value Village outfit with it's tangerine and cantaloupe hues (crying out to be worn before Labour Day strikes).

Also, the blister MUST heal before my 60 K walk next weekend, or I will be beside myself!

Okay, I'm off to self medicate my anxiety and overwhelm with an icepack to the neck, a mom mantra from last night, and a movie on demand. Getting my fill before we kick Roger's to the curb for good.

xo Tara

8 Months Clean and 'Hi Mom!'

2010-09-01T23:03:00.000-04:00

Guys (and Dolls)

It's been 8 months today that I've been doing this dance with not buying anything new. Yee haw. I had a nice chat with my Momma today, who reported that she recently caught up with my goings-on via this blog and that she really likes it. Thanks Mom. We also discussed how none of us can read my baby brother's blog at work due to the 'blue' content - aka 'language alert'. His blog did yield some info re: ETFs, but I blush at the thought of Mom reading all the 'fart-and-then-some jokes' it lies buried in. Ah hem.

So, 8 months. Not too shabby. I'm 2/3 of the way there in my year of not buying anything new. Sure I have my beefs with not buying anything new, but overall I have definitely learned and grown from this challenge.

I'm trying to take it easy tonight. I tweaked my neck at work. Chatting with my metaphysically minded Mother, she shared some insights on neck pain: that it might be due to inflexibility, sticking my neck out, and/or dwelling on the past ('what's going on back there?'). Hmmm. She gave this therapist a couple of good affirmations to enjoy as I ice and heat my neck tonight: "I am peaceful with life. It is with flexibility and ease that I see all sides of an issue. There are endless ways of doing things and seeing things. I am safe." What lovely food for thought. I hope my neck is listening.

I shall endeavour to slay everyone in my path with kindness, flexibility, and good vibes over the next two days. And not to lift ANYTHING. Wish me luck. The last two days of this job I have loved for seven years are going to be heavy duty (but not due to lifting or inflexibility).

xo Tara

$5 Worth of Blueberries

2010-08-31T19:36:00.000-04:00

Due to my stunned ineptitude I am in the unenviable position of having to wait for my 'manual paycheque' to clear the bank. My mortgage will go through okay, but the wiggle room money is severely compromised - aka frozen - until further notice. Ugh. I've been contemplating how to blow the last $5 burning a hole in my pocket. My wife, who is home sick and finally today feeling a flutter of appetite, asked if there was any chance I could get some blueberries. So folks, that's what I'll be spending my last 5 bucks on.

I remember a few years ago... Okay, 20 years ago, to be more precise... Being down to my last 5 bucks. My twin had moved to London, Ontario to spend the summer with me (from Quebec City). She was looking for work and I was making about $6 an hour working at the campus convenience store 20 hours a week. We were not very rich. She didn't like me smoking and was quite judgemental about it. She decided to hide my cigarettes. When I discovered what had happened I calmly told her 'Give them back or I'm going to go and spend our last $5 on a new pack.' She cried and wailed and ultimately gave them back. Then we ate Ramen Noodles like kings for a week. We also ate something horrifying to think about called 'macarroni and cheese loaf' which looked like sliced bologna with mac and cheese chunks peppered through it.

The moral of this story? You gotta blow that last $5 on something, and it could be a lot worse than blueberries.

My wife finally gets to see her GP tomorrow. Here's hoping it ain't pneumonia.

xo Tara

Value Village Mother Lode

2010-08-30T14:07:00.000-04:00

I actually did it. I got up at 7 a.m. today, threw on some slim fitting shorts and a t-shirt, lined my granny cart with a giant see through garbage bag and raced to Value Village for their 50% off sale. I have been meaning to do one of these all year, and finally managed by going first thing in the morning instead of at the end of the day.

I only had a small window of time so I wouldn't be late for work, and I also wanted to spend less than $80. I succeeded in that I only spent $59.33 - but I was about 15 minutes late for work. Shhhhh, don't tell.

I brazenly tried on the wardrobe I had pulled in front of one of the mirrors at the end of a row of dresses. Skimpy outfit was strategic, as I avoided change room lineups. Guess what I got for my $59.33? 12 tops and 6 skirts! All with work-worthy credentials. I'm feeling quite pleased with myself. What I didn't have time to do is grab a shower since I stayed longer at Value Village than planned. I barely had time to tie off the bag and hurl it into our vestibule to await deep cleansing.

If you're in Toronto today, you'll know to steer clear of me, as it's a heat alert and besides spending the a.m. neck deep in second hand clothing and not getting a shower, I've just spend about 2 hours commuting all over hell's half acre on several airless, crowded streetcars or waiting for said streetcars in spots with zero inches of shade and it's something like 40 degrees out. Ugh.

This dreadful weather keeps me in a constant state of inelegance. (I love to use this Jane Austen quote when I've worked up a lather in a heat wave.)

p.s.: Thanks Renee for letting me know about Mark Boyle's moneyless lifestyle. You can YouTube him. (He's gone 18 months without using money.)

xo Tara

Gifts and Wardrobe

2010-08-29T18:44:00.000-04:00

It's a lazy Sunday evening. My wife has taken ill this week with a bad flu - or if we let our imaginations go to dark places, viral pneumonia. A trip to the doctor tomorrow will hopefully sort this out. She's had a fever for several days, bad cough, and most worrying to both of us, no appetite. Very unlike her. I'm having sympathy pangs. Not pains, fortunately. So after some lackluster hours at work accomplishing very little, I'm taking to the couch with a bowl of ice cream and a book, as she's taken to our bed for a spell. It is an evening when I should be doing a lot of catching up, prep and getting my house in order etc. But try as I might I cannot goad myself out of my inertia. Ah well. I guess being an on-call nurse to my wife for the evening can be a semi-productive role for me.

I had a great friend wedding last night. For this wedding and a family one that we are unable to attend next weekend, my solution to gift giving without 'buying anything new' was a sort of compromise. Last year I put a big chunk of cash down on my Sears card to pay off my new washer and dryer. I accidentally overpaid. So I have a bit of a credit. I got the two couples each a Sears gift card as a present. Technically money I spent last year. Also, since I'm not buying them the stuff, it's not stuff as far as I'm concerned. What do you think? Grey area??

As far as my burgeoning professional wardrobe goes, I got a few items from my sister yesterday and I do have high hopes of getting arse in gear early tomorrow a.m. to get to Value Village's 50% off sale before work. It opens at 7am! I may need the jaws of life to pry me from my bed. I also have to do some organizing here at home to sort my new work-worthy get ups and closet etc. But, as I said, the couch and my book beckon. I diagnose myself with motivational influenza for the day.

xo Tara

Feeling Better

2010-08-26T22:57:00.001-04:00

I know yesterday I sounded a bit miserable, but today things are looking up. I am someone who prefers to enjoy myself if at all possible, and my motto at work is generally 'grease your back and let it slide off you'. This has served me pretty well. So, after griping yesterday, things are looking up.

Today, I put on one of my new (used) $4 skirts. I love it. It's a heavy stretchy cotton cut on the bias, in fuchsia with a black criss cross pattern. It worked great with a gift shirt I've never worn. I felt a bit dolled up and good. Also, a nice stranger on the subway offered to carry my heavy granny cart down a major set of stairs when the escalator was boarded up. And I had two farewell meetings with clients that were positive and pleasant. There is a 50% sale on Monday at Value Village, so I may just manage to squeak in before quitting time and plump up my fancy work wardrobe even more. Only six more working days (plus weekends full of working for free...) until my new job begins...

I'm now going to enjoy a way-too-late supper and a new DVD of my wife doing some of her incredible stand up. It just came today!

xo Tara